how to compromise
My husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years, we're both in our late 20's, with 2 children (5 year old daughter and 7 year old son). I have always wanted another child, my husband does not.
How does one go through life with the one they have commited to having to compromise something so major? Since he does not want another child, I am on birth control. I have brought this up several times and it always leads to an arguement. I am at a loss and frankly, am pretty heart broken. This is not something that can be compromised either way.
Any advice?
There isn't much you can do on this. You are young and have plenty of time. Why not focus on making the best of what you have? You have a caring husband, two healthy children, a 10 year marriage - there are a lot of women who would give their all to have all that.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Agreed!
Maybe a handful of years down the line, when the little kids get older and maybe a bit more manageable, your husband will feel ready for another child.
Is there any particular reason you want a third right NOW?
First of all I agree totally with WC.
Next why does he only want 2? I know my DH's reasons. I used to want 3. Till I had my first. Now between finances and my patience level I know that 2 is perfect for us. We decided together When I was expecting # 2 that we would only have the 2 no matter the sex. It was a decision we made for our family together.
I can sympathize a bit though. When my first was 18 months I was ready to try for another, it took DH another year to decide he was ready to consider another child. Before he said yes it seemed like everyone around me was expecting. It was really hard for me. I eventually got over it and not long after DH came around.
"When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us."
Helen Keller
In those arguements, what has he stated as the reason?
It could be finances for instance, so have a think if you can do something part time, from home that could bring more money into the household.
It could be that he wants freedom at 38, when your two children are teenagers and travel, enjoy life without having to wait until he's 55 to do so.
Have you considered that side as well?
Imagine the fun you two can have at 48, instead of 55 - 60.
I know that sounds like I'm sticking up for him there, not at all just letting you see the future as it is as well as "cluckiness" as you are.
If that's his logical reason.
But, he can't just say "no" without explaining his feelings as to why.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
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