friends hate me instead of supporting me

**HALFNOTHING** · 12-06-2009 12:30 AM

Based on the topics i sent last month. I am pregnant and that my family and friends don't know about it. I was expecting that the first person to understand me were those friends i have. but instead of that, they got angry and shame of me. They dont even talk to me even in online now.

Should i ashame of myself too? what should i do to ease this feeling of suicidal?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-06-2009 12:40 AM

Regardless of religion and their beliefs, you are a free spirit and left to find love.

I have read another person's thread who's husband cheated on her recently who wrote to you back then ...

People have to understand that we live in a different world today, not yesterday's world.

You love and live for you halfnothing....

It is your life.. We live once as whom you were born as a name by.

Don't stop loving you, the man or your new child... If they wish to be like this then they have no heart.

CW

**caterpillar79** · 12-06-2009 12:57 AM

I understand how judgmental people can get back home. It would be difficult on your part to keep going whilst dealing with their insults and dealing with pregnancy issues.

Be brave. You didn't go this far if you're not. You said you're friends knew already, how about your parents and close relatives? Maybe you could find one wjo would support you emotionally.

**Futureboy** · 12-06-2009 02:53 AM

No matter what happens with you family and friends you are about to get unconditional love from one little person who will look up to you, very fulfilling.

You are very emotional at the moment and it's probably shock on you friends/familys part. Things will settle over the weeks and months.

Just look forward to being a mummy

**WildChild** · 12-06-2009 08:11 AM

What people could do rationally, may not happen. There are belief systems that are stuck in misogynistic, judgemental patterns that aren't likely to change soon or easily. In fact in times of change, such as we live in, they dig their heels in and become more reactionary.

You know the culture and belief system you were raised in, you know that there is virtually no possibility that anyone within that belief system will be understanding or supportive of your situation. You have been fortunate that you got some help to get out of the dangerous situation you were in, now you have to determine what you are going to do from this point forward. What about your baby's father? Is he helping you out? Do you hear from him? What are you going to do about medical care? You had a c-section before didn't you? Are you going to be able to deliver naturally? You can't very well expect the people who are raising your first child to take this one. What are your plans?

You are going to have to find some way to create a livable situation for yourself and your child. I assume you will not be able to go back to working where you were before? You can't rely on other people to fix this, especially long distance. You are going to have to find out what resources are available where you are and figure out what you are going to do. Right or wrong, people won't change their cultural expectations to accomodate your situation. I don't want to sound hard but this is the reality of where you are, you are going to have to find a way to deal with this. I don't know where you are or what kind of environment you are in currently. I am hoping you are in an area that is more liberal than where you were before. Are there any charity groups that might help you - you will have to seek help outside of the religion you were raised with. Can you do that? Perhaps you will find some other groups that have organizations that can assist you and you may find some friends there?

**HALFNOTHING** · 12-07-2009 05:01 AM

What about your baby's father? Is he helping you out? Do you hear from him? What are you going to do about medical care? You had a c-section before didn't you? Are you going to be able to deliver naturally? You can't very well expect the people who are raising your first child to take this one. What are your plans?

He's helping me out. After a week, he resigned and he's with me now with his cousin. No, I'm not c-section as what i've posted in pregnancy section. I used my friend's (housemate's in uae) identity to hide mine but now i don't have to hide it anymore. They knew except where am i staying this days. I sent her in trouble but after all, she's still supporting me until now. All i have to do right now is to hide as much i can. Relatives are hunting me to death. ( as Islam says stone to death). because I am married and found someone else. i just want to be happy. I had the chance to live free by aborting the child here in the philippines, but i dont want to . this my first child with my the man i love. I heard from UAE before that my husband back in the philippines, marry another woman so because of frustration, i met someone else and fall in love. that love turn to heal as i define it. now, i dont really know what to do. Friends of the guy are helping me too but not my friends at all. only riana back in uae understands me cos her husbands too marry others and understand how i feel.

We have a small saving that we are budgeting now. and because hubby is good in work. he has a work now here ( sorry i can't put it here the place). Our plan is to fly to another country after delivery. I hope nobody from relatives will find us. The problem is that we don't know where and it's hard to apply for visa. Its really frustrating but this is all my fault. I knew it but i didn't avoid. I was angry and needed someone too.

I hope I have this forum to support me.

**happy ending** · 12-07-2009 05:30 AM

hi halfnothing, it should be such a wonderful time for you, i hope everything works out for you, my thoughts are with you.

**HALFNOTHING** · 12-08-2009 11:38 PM

Happy that someone could understand. I'll just have to protect myself against them and live a happy life after.

Thank you guys

**HALFNOTHING** · 12-08-2009 11:38 PM

Happy that someone could understand. I'll just have to protect myself against them and live a happy life after.

Thank you guys

**mye_mye** · 12-09-2009 03:20 AM

your friends seems like they don't understand you..anyway, atleast, you are happy now and in a safe place..
when did you back to your place?
how do you find going back to ur own place?there's no place like home ryt?
tc and god bless