His family does not like me.

**sjsk1021** · 12-06-2009 11:22 PM

well I do not know where to start but it's been bugging me so bad and I have to tell somebody who can help me out.
My boyfriend knows something's wrong, but I don't have guts to tell him so.
To me it seems like his parents do not like me.
I'm an Asian and I think that's the biggest reason why they don't.
After his father found out that we've been dating, his father would't let him go on a date with me sometime.
He feels sorry about it when it happens but all I can do is say ok.
Worse thing is that it's not only just his parents.
His church friends think that he's been dating me cuz he could not find the one like white girls or something.
When I heard about that, I felt so humiliated and I cried for almost a whole day.
And sometime, he acts different.
When he's with his mom or his friends, he talks differently even though they know it's me that who he's talking to and even I'm his girlfriend and all that.

I mean, I've been thinking to tell him all about this, but I'm afraid if he thinks I'm over reacting or thinking.
I don't know what to do anymore.

oh one more thing, my mom likes him and after I knew that I felt it's so wrong and unfair that his parents don't like me...

I don't know what shoud I do?

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-06-2009 11:26 PM

I'd like to ask you and your boyfriends age, because if he is an adult -- over 18 years old, his behavior is awful. If he's under that , its still awful but if he's not an adult and living with his parents and just trying to keep the peace til he can finish school or something... you'd have to take it with a grain of salt but still ask of him that he either not bother calling at all in front of them, or not treat you strangely if he does.

He can't control how his parents and church etc thinks, but he can (especially if he's a grown up) determain how he spends his time, and if he loves you he's not going to want to spend it around people that don't treat you with respect. They don't have to love you and smother you with kisses, but if they are being rude and hurtful while he turns a deaf ear to it all... it doesn't speak highly of his character or his concern for your heart.

**Mes T** · 12-06-2009 11:29 PM

Oh goodness. I've been in this situation before, in America, and I'm WHITE.

And then of course I moved to Korea where I'm discriminated against even more, so I totally feel ya!

His parents (and that particular community) are conservative, but if they really love him and want him to be happy, they hopefully WILL change their minds. My parents are exactly the same way, they want me to only date someone who is not only white but from a certain country, and they're not like this because they're bad people... They're like this because it's how they were raised, but they do love me and do try to understand me every time I bring home someone from a different race.

I ended up ending a 3 year long relationship with my Indian boyfriend because I was sick and tired of the discrimination. I don't know, maybe if I had stuck it out longer, his parents would have come around... But by then I had just had enough, thought that this was completely ridiculous and unfair, and left.

But, if HE, your boyfriend, treats you differently... then that might be a problem.

But if he just talks to you differently on the phone when someone else is listening in... that's pretty normal, almost all of us do it, me included. It kind of sucks when my boyfriend calls me by my real name instead of "baby" or "darling" when someone else is around but, hey, some people like to keep their privacy, ya know?

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