Mom's boyfriend proposing on Christmas

**Fish** · 12-13-2009 09:28 PM

My mom's boyfriend told me today that he was going to propose this Christmas. I'm going to the jewelers with him tomorrow to help pick out a ring. I'm 100% ok with this, it wasn't a shock even though my parents got divorced less than 3 years ago (my suspicions say the divorce happened because they wanted to be an item or already were)...but she has known this guy since she was 5 and she lives with him now (I do too when I'm not at college). Anyway I'm not allowed to tell anyone, I have sworn my life that I won't tell even my boyfriend...so I just had to get it out somewhere and I doubt any of you know us in real life!! Or I'm dead meat!

I'm also trying to decide if I want to spend Christmas at home to witness the proposal (he said he would like me there) or go to my boyfriends and spend it with his family...even though it would be neat to see it happen I'm leaning toward the latter option because I think they'll need some alone time and I really want to spend it with my bf...decisions decisons!

**LanaBear** · 12-13-2009 09:35 PM

Can you do both? I'd think you'd definitely want to be there for the proposal. How special! Especially that he wants you there for it. But I can understand wanting to be with your boyfriends family as well.

Regardless, how exciting!

**Mes T** · 12-13-2009 09:42 PM

Will other people be at your mom's place too, or just you three, if you go?? If it were me, I'd want the proposal to be really private, just between us two. But I also know that some people really like to make it very public, inviting close friends and family to witness it.

In any case, I think they should definitely video tape it, so that they have it as a memory forever, AND you wouldn't feel like you missed it if you spent Christmas away.

**pretzel** · 12-14-2009 06:07 AM

I think he really wants you to be part of this. It seems important to him. He asked you to go with him to pick out the ring probably because he trusts your opinion and it seems like it matters to him.

I'd be there for your mom and him. You could always go to your boyfriends the next day.

**WildChild** · 12-14-2009 07:22 AM

Be there and then have someplace (bfs?) you need to go not long after.

**caterpillar79** · 12-14-2009 07:27 AM

Do both. Witness the proposal part, spend some time to enjoy the evening with them, then leave with your bf and spend the rest of the evening with him and his family. Everybody's happy that way.

**Fish** · 12-14-2009 07:42 AM

Well it's not like my boyfriend lives down the road...it's a 4 hour drive and I hate wasting 4 hours of Christmas in the car! However that is my plan at the moment. As far as I know, it will just be the three of us. He hasn't even told his daughter or stepson about it (and they are in their upper 20's...I'm 23 and he trusts me with the secret more?) anyway I need to make up my mind pretty soon...I really enjoy Christmas at my boyfriends but how often do you get to witness your mom getting engaged?? I'll ask him again to make sure he really wants me to be here.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-14-2009 01:40 PM

Hey Fish,

Actually, why not tell him you "want" to do both and then explain your situation that being the 4hr drive, and ask him if you can work it with him on "timing" so that you can do both..

Perhaps a "Christmas breakfast" together, champagne, croissants... then Mum will feel like, it's a special thing that you wanted to have a Christmas breakfast before you go, for instance, whilst he gets to propose in front of you and you can then travel along your way ready for lunch?

CW

**the wench** · 12-14-2009 03:02 PM

such a romantic date 2 be proposed on 4 a start...congrats 2 them...its so nice he is making you apart of it and isnt trying 2 push you aside. your call but i think it would be lovely 2 see how happy it will make her on such a magical day for her

**happy ending** · 12-14-2009 08:15 PM

well sorry to disagree with everyone else, but they are living together etc, i dont see why there has to be an audience to the proposal and why it has to be christmas when presumably everyone is off doing things. i would go to my boyfriends, your mum will call you, you can be happy over the phone, to me its no big deal, you would definately want to be there for you own proposal (LOL) but someone elses - meh!