Thread: It's been 10 years... is it normal to still feel sad?

Originally Posted by WildChild

Do you feel this often or just around times like the holidays and his birthday?
My mother died over 30 yrs ago and there are still times I really miss her but it isn't nearly as often or as intense as it once was.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him, but I really only feel like this around Christmas, the anniversary of his death, his birthday, and father's day. It's always been hard, and I don't really feel like it's getting any easier to deal with. I often find myself wondering what my life would be like if he was still here, and wish I could hear him tell me that he is proud of me.

I do cherish the good times that we had, I just really miss him.

ok this is only coming from experience of depression, sry if it isn't helpful but i want to help ne way i can. wen i lived in alaska during winter time i got very down & cried many nights because i missed my family very much, part of it though was due to a lack of sunlight. during the winter at most there was 3 - 4 hours of sunlight & because i was depressed (& winter time) i sleep more & missed all that sunlight. during the day go out & sit in the sun soak it up, i know it won't solve everything but it may give u a little boost. i wish u much luck & happiness in this new year

It is normal. I believe a large part of the reason you are still reacting in this way is because you had no one to grieve with you. Families often try to grieve together, and you have gone through this alone. Without a good outlet for all of this pain and heartache, you have turned to yourself--this pain has only stayed with you. You have this community here to talk to about your grief. =) You don't have to hold it all inside. Maybe you will find it helpful to post your memories and stories with us. If this depression is getting to the point where you can't perform daily functions, maybe it is best you seek professional help; an actual person to talk to instead of an internet group.

I am sorry for your loss and grief. We are here to support you, and to try and help you as much as we can.

It has been 4 and a half years since my dad was murdered. I still find it very hard as well. With me personally, it's hard because there are still so many questions and so much anger at whoever did this to him- it's still an open case. The thoughts of your dad will always be with you- I'm with you- try to think of all the happy times you had with him. I feel the only person I can talk to and bawl my eyes out about it to is my mother. Although she tells me the same 'comforting' thing each time, I just feel the most comfortable rambling on about it to her. Yes, I share stories about it to whoever asks, but I try to keep a cool. My boyfriend never has words to say- he just holds me and tell me to try to calm down. Maybe there is someone in particular that you feel comfortable with just getting it off your chest? No matter if it's 4 years or 10 years, you will always have love for this person who is no longer with us, and that is a perfectly normal thing to do- grieve for your loss.

Thank you, everyone. I am doing ok, I went to the cemetery yesterday with my grandfather, left some flowers and a picture of my little brother. My close friends have been very supportive, and a few of my family members. I have been remembering my Dad in my own way. I post all if his drawings on my website and share memories. I am a graphic designer, and I inherited my creative talents from my father. I am proud to share it with the world, and in a way it gives me some peace. I would post a link, but last time I did that I got in trouble. I believe there is a link to my site in my profile Thanks again everyone, I wish you much happiness in 2010.