Single parent versus both parent?

**GoodEgg** · 01-05-2010 12:05 PM

Kind of a random question that popped up the other day when I was talking to a friend over a drink. He speculated that a child that grows up with a single parent versus both impacts that child adversely and they having problems with adult relationships later on. I know that's rather vague but I am trying to take the advice from others' in this forum not to stereotype if I can help it. But I'd also like to know if others feel there's any validity to this statement or if that's just silly. I come from a two parent household and I still feel like I have problems forming or approaching healthy adult relationships, including friends, family and romantic. I really feel it comes down to the specific set or single parent(s).

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-05-2010 04:19 PM

In my opinion, a child with one parent doesn't necessarily miss out on the teachings of a male, or a female, if there are other family members that take on that role, in-advert idly and they can grow up grounded and healthy.

Same, for a child with both a Mother and Father. If they are not role models, a child can view their relationship and be frightened to get into the same.

A "person", once matured has to take all they have learned and ditch what doesn't suit their morals/values/beliefs and maintain what they do believe in and should never look at their parents and fear that they will head down the same path, they are individual people.

The only problem with a lone child with one parent sometimes, is not ever having a Mother figure, say to guide them through puberty or relationship issues, or girly things, same as a Father image who protected them. Then then may not have "experienced" something which can help them within a relationship, in how to handle situations as they had never seen same, growing up.

CW

**Mes T** · 01-05-2010 04:29 PM

A while ago I heard a statistic that said that, on average, children who grew up with single mothers ended up having more "problems" than those who grew up with single fathers or two parents. It makes some sense, what with the position of women in the world (still) in terms of financial and psychological matters.

But anyhoo, I think what your friend said is a grand and misinformed generalization.

**sperosi** · 01-05-2010 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by GoodEgg

. . .

I really feel it comes down to the specific set or single parent(s).

I agree 100% with this. i know a few single parents and heir kids are wonderful and well behaved. i also know a lot of married couples with absolutely horrible kids that will never be good people.

it's not as cut and dried as some would have us believe!

**LanaBear** · 01-05-2010 05:06 PM

Single parent or parents together, more than anything, I think it depends on how the children are raised, what morals they are taught, are they disciplined or are they allowed to walk all over their parent/s.

Single parent or not, many try to be too much of their child's friend rather than their parent. Their is a line that needs to be drawn and respect that needs to had for them as a parent, not a friend.

**GoodEgg** · 01-05-2010 06:01 PM

Good to hear from you all.

In this case, we were looking male friends raised by a single mother. One of them grew up never thinking about himself and the other one now governs life according to convenience to himself. They were both coddled by their mothers. I can't explain the disparity and you never can tell.

You guys always have such good insight! Thanks!