Hi Joy, thanks for the input. Yes, it is always a good idea to have a will. We've always put it off because of just this situation. We decided to have one done now in case something happens on our trip, we are all 4 going (us and kids). I'm thankful the kids are grown because I never would agree to the SIL getting them if something had happened to us when they were growing up. Sad that my husband is all for his family only, it's as if no one else exists. It's the brainswashing thanks to his mother! He has just agreed to one of the alternatives I gave him for executor. In the near future, we will meet with an attorney and make some permanent changes. Maybe he is finally seeing the light that his sister is not an option in any of this. I'm glad he compromised. May be hope for us yet.