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are you for real, i dont really blame your husband. its astounding he's lasted this long.
Husband wants me to choose!
My husband wants me to choose between him and my family..this includes my mom, my dad, and my sister. My parents like to intervene in our relationship a lot. They help us out by watching our two kids since we both work full time and can't afford a babysitter. We have gotten into arguments and my parents have told my husband off, so he has said they are trying to split us up. My mom has been very malicious towards him and still refuses to apologize. I have taken up for my husband before, but my husband says it doesn't matter because since I haven't stop associating with them, I am choosing them.
My husband also hates my sister. She did porn for a while and he suspects she still does and he doesn't want her around our kids. She's still my sister!
Help! I don't know what to do, or how to talk to him. I tried to ask him how he would feel if I were to ask him to disown his family and he said his family wasn't like that.
are you for real, i dont really blame your husband. its astounding he's lasted this long.
So are you saying that in your shoes, you would have no problem disowning your family? And telling your sister that since she is "trash" you couldn't associate with her? I appreciate your thoughts on this, but that comment really didn't help me at all, since it was not at all understanding and helpful, but more like just a stab at me.Originally Posted by happy ending
First, as far as your sister goes, what she did for a living doesn't make her a bad person. Her actions outside of work may do that, but not her job.
As far as your parents go, well a man can only put up with so much. Well, I guess I should say human for in general. But in your case, a man. He can't be expected to be okay with the abuse, I would never expect him to be okay with being abused in that manner from his in-laws.
You need to tell you parents to step off and apologize.
Maybe you could try put yourself in his shoes, and try and see the situation through his eyes. This way, you'll see where he is coming from.
Have you explained to him how you feel?
Yes, it's your family. But you have to think of your immediate family now as well.
Love isn't about finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly <3
Very good advice Nix. How would you feel, fairlady, if it were his parents treating you this way? What would your reactions be?
Well, the malicious things my mom had said to him were only said by my mom who was trying to take my side in the arguments we had. Otherwise, she is very sweet to him. I have talked to her, to see if she will apologize and she doesn't think she did anything wrong, but they are things my husband can't forget.
As far as my sister goes, I don't think she is a bad person, and I know that is just her job. The only thing she's said against my husband was "Its not that I don't like your husband...I just don't like how he treats you." I tried to talk to my husband about this, and while he says he has no problem with her profession, he says that our kids don't need to be around her.
But you see, your still not putting yourself in his shoes. you are making excuses for the actions.
How would YOU feel, if his mom did those things to you?
Your husband does have a point about not letting your kids be exposed, especially if they are young!
Although it is hard shutting them away from their aunt.
I think this is a personal decision you have to sort out between you and your husband as to which route you will take.
Love isn't about finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly <3
I would be upset if his mom had said things to me, and then wouldn't apologize. But I don't think I would ask him not to associate with her anymore.
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