Thread: Don't know what to do

I just gave someone advice on a similar topic that I thought was reasonable, but I myself don't know what to do in my case.

I've been married for 13 years have 3 kids. I have always felt growing up and after I got married that my parents didn't pay much attention to me or care for my opinion as much as they did that of my siblings. I was very quiet and easy going growing up. I never talked back and did what mom and dad wanted. But I always wanted out of my parent's home and felt suffocated there. My parents' way of dealing with conflict was to ignore and avoid conflict and that's what I learned. When I met my hubby I made the mistake of telling him about all of my insecurities with my parents. He took on my pain as his own.

My parents (mainly mom) had the first real blowout with him over something before we got married. She was clearly in the wrong and said that after we were married she didn't care if we came to visit or not. He never forgot it. My husband is also very frank and doesn't shy away from conflict at all. He also has anger management issues for which he is getting help.

Over the years he built up animosity towards my parents. They'd make comments about him in such a manner that they would imply things and not come out and say it. My husband would pick up on the implications and say things back in a straightforward mean way.

Recently we moved back in our parent's neighborhood after being in another state for years. Hubby and dad had a blowout. In my opinion both were wrong. Hubby apologized that day with dad said he accepted but he really didn't. Dad didn't apologize until today after I reminded him of the hurtful things that he said. I have had longs talks with hubby, and had a tearful heart to heart with dad which I have never had.

Hubby doesn't want me or the kids to see my parents until he feels welcome there again, which I have no idea how long it will take. And he is in no hurry to make it happen. Hubby says he is happy hating them and doesn't need them.

Dad says hubby has done bad things over the years that they have let go. They don't want to let go of anything anymore. Hubby says same thing.

My mom and sister are best friends and tell each other everything. My mom has told everything to my sister and brother. My sister won't speak to me, and I feel my brother is headed that way.

No one ever really liked hubby because of his temper and lack of political correctness anyway.

All I want is for me and the kids to be able to see them. If I do, hubby says I'm choosing them when they have a responsibility to all of us. He doesn't want us going there until he feels welcome.

I don't know what to do. I am losing sleep and thinking about this all the time.