long lost dad

**sss09** · 01-25-2010 06:10 AM

I haven't seen my dad since I was maybe 15 or something, and I'm 24 now. The reasons why this happened aren't so clear... I don't remember if my mom wouldn't let me see him or he didn't want to see me (they are divorced). We've both known where each other was all this time but neither of us got in touch with the other. Some part of me thinks he should have tried to see/talk to me because he was always the adult. But now that I'm grown up I'm having weird feelings about wanting to see him. I never really cared before but now I want to know him. I know he used to be flighty and I'm worried that if I reached out to him he might break my heart. I don't really know much about him now except that he's my father and I can't help but feel weird about him being such a stranger. Should I try and reconnect with him? I'm scared of what could go wrong.

**Lady Aurian** · 01-25-2010 06:45 AM

I think it is a great idea to try and contact your father!
My parents devorced when I was about 11 and I lived with my father and brothers and sisters.
I didn't see or talk to my mother for more than 9 years and when we finally did start talking we didn't connect right away - more my fault than hers - but now we are great friends...

**Ros2007** · 01-25-2010 06:59 AM

My boyfriend had not seen or spoken to his father for over 20 years. Long story short we ran into his dad at a pharmacy one day and it was really weird. After that they short of tried to reconnect so to speak. His dad was in his life for about 3 months until my boyfriend realized that his life was better without him. Not so much of a happy ending but my boyfriend has no regrets. He was the better person and tried to have a relationship with the father that didnt care to have a relationship with him for most of his life. I think that you should try to talk to your dad because if you dont then your always going to wonder what could of been. One of two things are going to happen: its going to work or its not. If it does then that is wonderful and congratulations. If it doesnt then your life stays the same.

Go for it and Good luck!

**LanaBear** · 01-25-2010 09:53 AM

Because you feel the way you do, you probably do need to contact him. It will put you at ease, you may end up having a great relationship with him or you may realize you are better off, but either way you will know and you will have tried. If you didn't feel the way you described in your post, I'd say don't bother.

I have no relationship with my father, I'm better off without it but I lose no sleep over it at all.

Give it a shot, but also be prepared that it may not be what you expect or want.

**sperosi** · 01-27-2010 03:24 PM

Lana said it best:

"Give it a shot, but also be prepared that it may not be what you expect or want."

at least you'll be able to say you tried your best.

**ltsang** · 01-31-2010 10:53 AM

My parents are also divorce. I still go see my mom every now and then. The drive to mom's is 4 and 1/2 hours long. Do you have any idea where you father lives? If so you can take a friend with you and go see your father. GL girl

**aloharuiz** · 02-07-2010 07:42 AM

You want to reconnect with him, that's no doubt. Go see him and try to know him once you'll have the opportunity. You will never be at ease when you will never try. After all, there is no harm in trying. Just be prepared whatever the outcome of your reunion will be. Good luck!