Thread: My daughters birth father........

So I have two girls, 15 months apart. I was in an terrible relationship with a guy 26 years older then me and I had my first daughter with him. He didn't help me with anything house and baby wise and made sure I didn't get to go anywhere. When I was 18 I was a niave pretty teen and he got a hold of me. As soon I started changing (physically and mentally) when I was pregnant he choose to not give me any attention. I left as soon as I could when my girl was 4 months. I met my current husband a month later and 4 months after that we moved in together. Now my daughters birthfather rarely saw her and I found out he had a history of being sexual with his step daughters and also his own daughters from a previous relationship. Family services got involved and said that he needed to be supervised if he saw my daughter. He took me to court and I won. Now when I left him I made him pay child support, but he decided to stop paying recently and hasn't seen my daughter in 6 months. (My daughter knows my husband as Daddy and always has) I am on legal aid and only have a certain amount of free time left with my lawyer. Anyway due to a mix up in court when I was going to file for childsupport when he had stopped paying me, but the judge thought the paperwork had already been started so he wouldn't have to issue an order but I found out later it wasn't. So my lawyer tells me that she has enough time to draw up adoption papers for free so we can file that this year, so I don't really have enough time for my lawyer to file for child support. And the other thing is I don't want to raise my daughters birthfathers vengefulness (thus making him try to access her) because I'm just happy that he doesn't see her at all as he is a pedifile. But my husband wants to adopt her but thinks that we should be getting childsupport in the mean time; every little bit helps. And I understand that, but I just want to make sure that when I file for adoption he isn't going to raise about. Because if he has chosen not to see her, which he has, then the court is going to say he has decided not to be her parent. But if I file child support then he might actually want a supervised visit and then the adoption wouldn't really be possible.
Sorry for such a long explanation. Just want to hear someone's opinion, am I being silly?

I agree with angel-lou. Your best bet would be to move forward with the adoption (and your lives) while he's uninvolved. If you pressure him to pay then there is a chance that he's going to want to have visitation, etc.