Sister In Law Driving Me CRAZY!!!

**Silentwisper** · 02-26-2010 09:00 PM

Hello everyone! I am new here, and am in need of some advice.. My sister in law is driving me crazy! The worse part is my husband blames me, and says I'm a drama queen

Okay my sister in law is one of those that think she knows everything, shes stubborn, hardheaded, and thinks that she is ALWAYS right, and even if she knows shes not she'll fight you to the death about how shes still right.

Shes never liked me.. I don't know why either, I have never done anything to her. I barley even see her, yet she still finds some reason why shes annoyed with me. My husband and I fight ALL the time because of her. And of coarse he sticks up for her most of the time.

This is what I have been dealing with over the years..

When my daughter was born, my sister in law was "concerned" she thought my daughter was autistic , she called my child's pedi to tell them her concern.. My child is not autistic, and the doctor's looked at her like she was a nut. I was pretty heated that she went behind our backs and called the pedi.. You don't do that! She won't even talk to my husband about it now, won't even say whether or not she still thinks are daughter is autistic. Cause she knows she made herself look like a idiot.

Sometimes shes fine with me ... We can get along great, then some days shes got a bug in her butt and she won't say a word to me, she even goes as far as acting like I am not even there. Which makes me feel so unwelcome.

She invites her brother (my husband) out with her and her husband but tells my husband to leave me home.. Which is messed up!

One night we were at her place and she was pretty much sitting on my husbands lap.. Talking, laughing and tickling him.. I swear if I didn't know them (that they are brother and sister) I would of thought she was flirting or dating him.. I think she did that to me off?!?

Everyone has told her that the way she treats me isn't right .. She just says "yea I know, but oh well."

I'm at a lost I don't know what to do anymore.. It causes so much stress between my husband and I.. She'll call him out of the blue and about how much she doesn't like me to him.. Then he comes home and we fight about what she says for a couple days! When she is away from us our marriage is perfect!

I have kept everything to myself.. Up until now she has thought I either didn't know about her what she was saying or I didn't care what she was saying. The last thing that happened I flipped out packed my backs and told my husband if he went out with her I was leaving him.. He didn't, and she didn't understand why he choose me over her?!? She knows I am mad. Yet she still doesn't have enough respect and tell me shes sorry for what she has said..

I don't know what to do anymore! I have been put on some kind of anxiety medication to level out my panic attacks that Im getting from all this drama.

My husband told me hes not getting in the middle of the fighting anymore.. How in the can two people be fighting when they haven't seen or talked to eachother since xmas?!?!? ughh

**happy ending** · 02-26-2010 09:24 PM

she sounds jealous of your realtionship with your husband, do you have a mother in law, have you spoken to her about her daughters behaviour.?

**Silentwisper** · 02-26-2010 09:40 PM

Hello - Yes I called her up a couple months ago crying my eyes out. I was just Soooo sick of it! She agreed with me and my sister in law was suppose to call to try to fix our issues.. She never did.... My mother in law wants it to stop too, she feels bad for me, yet she can't stand up to her daughter.. Because shes always right and nothing she does it wrong... ugh I hate her soooo much!

**happy ending** · 02-26-2010 09:45 PM

i asked because, it sounds as if this woman is a bully and her family doesnt want to put limits on her behaviour, sister in laws seem to be a problem in a lot of relationships on this forum, you should do a search on other threads maybe people have solutions.

**Silentwisper** · 02-26-2010 09:57 PM

I have been looking over the post there is a lot of useful information.. But I haven't found the one about hitting her in the head with a frying pan..

**p3375** · 02-27-2010 02:15 AM

Agree, the woman's a bully. Also, she will never change and hubby won't either. I like the frying pan idea. Other than that, ya have two choices - submit or be a bigger biatch/bully than she is.

To my shame, I found submission easier than fighting. Took the verbal and emotional beatings for years. I finally found releaf when I left hubby and went my own way.
P

**Silentwisper** · 02-27-2010 10:34 AM

Other then her BS my husband and I have a really good relationship. I am so emotionally drained from her . It's funny cause her mom and her have some major issues, yet it will never be resolved because of the person she is. I can see if this continues and my husband doesn't eventually see whats going on its going to destroy my marriage.. Its a shame, because other then her I get along with everyone. My husband means the world to me, and I refuse to sit around and allow her to treat me like she has..

**Dingaling** · 11-18-2010 05:51 AM

Hi, can totally relate to this. I experienced horrendous treatment publicly and worse when no one was around from my lovely SIL similar to this. She was then sick when I became pregnant & would refer to the impending arrival as though he was her & my husbands making plans of what she would be doing with him & completely ignoring me & making it clear her manipulation of my husband wouldn't change. I was so worried during my pregnancy & after he was born that he would agree for her to take him. She wanted him to go & stay with her from the first week he came home!!!

She eventually twigged mother natures Bond was stronger than hers with hers with my husband and has for the last couple of months gone on a charm offensive! She texts constantly, hangs around my work, hangs around places I do that would have been beneath her before now and it's just totally bazaar that she would think I don't realize it's only so she can get my son!

She is his aunt & my husbands sister so I absolutely feel she should be in his life, but that dissent have to be every day or week or on a schedule at all! She constantly digs & not seeing him enough & it's more than my own family! Every 2-3 wks I organize a visit, sometimes more but the rest of the ti e I am deflecting her leading texts or avoiding bumping into her at the places I used to go!

She makes such a big deal about him not knowing her (BS) that it makes the baby feel u comfortable around her. The thoughts of her taking him anywhere without me make me feel sick. There doesn't seem to be any babies happening for her & her hubby which is sad & hopefully it will but for the sake of my marriage I'm not getting into her being here all the time.

My husband & I fight about this & he blames me even though I know he sees it. We fight a little less now as I think he knows I would just pack up and leave as I've had enough of her nastyness now turned "best friend". Please if anyone has advice feel free to dish it out, I am desperate! No one has ever stood up to her in her family, it's like they are afraid to as she is so unhinged!!!

**Dingaling** · 11-18-2010 05:58 AM

Ps have things improved for you Silentwipser?

**Dingaling** · 11-18-2010 06:02 AM

Hi, can totally relate to this. I experienced horrendous treatment publicly and worse when no one was around from my lovely SIL similar to this. She was then sick when I became pregnant & would refer to the impending arrival as though he was her & my husbands making plans of what she would be doing with him & completely ignoring me & making it clear her manipulation of my husband wouldn't change. I was so worried during my pregnancy & after he was born that he would agree for her to take him. She wanted him to go & stay with her from the first week he came home!!!

She eventually twigged mother natures Bond was stronger than hers with hers with my husband and has for the last couple of months gone on a charm offensive! She texts constantly, hangs around my work, hangs around places I do that would have been beneath her before now and it's just totally bazaar that she would think I don't realize it's only so she can get my son!

She is his aunt & my husbands sister so I absolutely feel she should be in his life, but that dissent have to be every day or week or on a schedule at all! She constantly digs & not seeing him enough & it's more than my own family! Every 2-3 wks I organize a visit, sometimes more but the rest of the ti e I am deflecting her leading texts or avoiding bumping into her at the places I used to go!

She makes such a big deal about him not knowing her (BS) that it makes the baby feel u comfortable around her. The thoughts of her taking him anywhere without me make me feel sick. There doesn't seem to be any babies happening for her & her hubby which is sad & hopefully it will but for the sake of my marriage I'm not getting into her being here all the time.

My husband & I fight about this & he blames me even though I know he sees it. We fight a little less now as I think he knows I would just pack up and leave as I've had enough of her nastyness now turned "best friend". Please if anyone has advice feel free to dish it out, I am desperate! No one has ever stood up to her in her family, it's like they are afraid to as she is so unhinged!!!