Thread: Help! Horrible relationship with future sis-in law

My bf and I have been dating for years now and recently we got engaged. Although it should be all smiles but I do have some issues I have to deal with prior to any family related planning. When I first got into this relationship some years ago, my bf did tell me that he had a very mean younger sister that he didn't like or get along with. Actually I didn't even believe him when he was telling me in details why I would always say, "I'm sure she's not that bad" or "she's just too young that's why she's acting that way." Well, although I have never bonded with her we have met and had a pretty decent and well off start. And with time his whole family (even cousins & uncles) and his church members LOVE me!

Unfortunately, this past summer my bf's mother passed away. It was not a planned death, hence it came to a shock to everyone. I'm sure we all had alot of emotions (negative) running around. However, I knew my bf and his family needed me so I did whatever I can to help out. Buy Groceries, do laundry, take care of paperworks (funeral or non funeral related) I really spent my whole summer running around and further more helping my bf cope emotionally. But for some reason, his sister became harder and harder to deal with after this past summer. She became very snobby towards me and started ordering me around (to do her things as well).

By the time Christmas rolled in, I couldn't take it anymore, I had confronted her about it by offering to take her out for coffee to discuss the matter. She rejected my offer and later on wrote me a very angry/mean email about her feelings towards me. She had had a lot of misconceptions about me and her brother, about how our relationship was, and even how we dealt with our finances. I had helped my bf with some minor finances and during that summer he was paying me back by taking care of the rent where we lived in. She had thought he was paying for everything. I had wrote back explaining the misconceptions she had about me... But she won't listen. She continues to perceives me in HER own way.

My friends tell me to pay her no mind, and that she shouldn't even butt into my bf's and my business anyways. But several months later, the situation has really gotten out of hand. My bf's family knows that me and her are having these issues and even though, everyone opts to stay out of it, I am beginning to think his dad is starting to take his daughter's side and has made many complaints about me to my bf. My bf told me he doesn't feel like those are valid complaints at all... so he told me not to worry. But now that we are engaged, and I am starting to plan for engagement parties, wedding etc. I really don't know what I can/should do. I avoid both his father and sister very often and I know she's talking behind my back to a lot of people and most likely to her father as well.

I was once told, that when you marry someone you marry their family as well; I have been so stressed out about this ordeal that I have began thinking about backing out of this whole engagement and possibly holding marriage off a little longer. Although, my bf's grandparents and the rest of the family still loves me, his dad and his sister has been very hostile to me or atleast I'm starting to feel the "unwelcoming" feelings directed towards me. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

HELP!