Thread: My Mom's cheating on dad.

I agree that you should leave this between you parents. You cannot keep them together if they are destine to be apart. There may be bigger problems that you do not know of. When I was seven years old my parents divorced. I used to think it was because they didn't love us or that they hated each other so much they had to leave. In 1998 my parents remarried each other. When my Mother told me this I was shocked. She was on dating sites and still looking for someone else. I asked her why she wanted to marry my Dad. I asked her why they got divorced, and why she was still looking for another man. Apparently they got divorced because my Father didn't want my Mom to go to school and become a nurse. She still loved my Father but realized that that wasn't enough, she wanted a better life for us kids than they had. She felt it was the only way. I found out the other man search was due to a medical condition, from smoking, that my father suffered. He picked out the men and my Mother got the physical aspect of the relationship she needed. a year later I presented my Mother with a book that helped her find the physical need from my Father. I am her daughter and not her friend. There were things that I should have never known, but as messed up as I was I, like you was very curious. like the other posts say it made me crazy. The more I found out the crazier I became. I am now married myself, a mother, and think that the dark is a very good place for children when it comes to their parents sex life. I know you are hurting but it isn't anything you have done, it isn't anything about you. It is not because you yelled or because you said you hate them. Your parents know you love them, they know you feel the tension, and I am sure it is tearing them up inside. It is hard but best to step back into the dark, love them both no matter what happens to their relationship. Talk to a friend about your feelings, or a aunt or uncle, you can hope for a parent trap but what ever will be will be. Go hug your parents, tell your Dad you love him and you are sorry for anything that you have done that could have hurt him, and you are there for him. Hug your Mom and let her know how much you love her. Tell her you are sorry for doing anything she thinks may have been interfering, and tell her that you support her in all her decisions. Know that those decisions may be life altering but, supporting her is OK. You are not betraying your father. Being there for your Dad doesn't mean that you love him more. All this means is that you are their daughter and you love them.

What a terrible position this has put you in. You are stuck in the middle, upset at your mom for doing this to your dad... so you probably have a gut instinct to try to protect him... but at the same time feel a sense of loyalty to your mom to not hurt her either... and you at the heart of it all likely want them to just stay together.

You've already seen too much to go back to pretending you haven't. At least you are old enough to know that nothing that goes on between them is your fault. They are your parents and they love you, but they are people too... and people make mistakes.

It breaks your heart the day you realize your parents are just as fragile of human beings as yourself, as anyone... but the truth is they are.

Is there a counselor at school that you speak with about your feelings? It might do good to have someone you can share what your experience is that has your feelings and your best interest at heart.

Your mom blamed you out of guilt and anger at her ownself. I really hope you don't take that to heart. It was childish of her to accuse you or to make you feel bad for something that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

But you need to see past that to a woman that is obviously going through some internal struggles right now.

All this mess is causing you to grow up faster than you should. You need to find a way to try to pull yourself from their situation. Love them both, keep your respect, but try (as hard as it is) to let them sort through this mess on their own.

Your happiness is undoubtably the priortity to both of them and the hurt this is causing you is a side effect of what happens when grown ups make mistakes.

I really do hope you find someone to talk to. You shouldn't have to bottle up your hurt and confusion and probably need some professional guidence at this point to help you come to terms with everything you've already endured and to prepare you for any of the possibilities ahead.

Try not to worry about them. Its hard, but you have to focus on being a teenager. This is a time in your life you don't get back... hang out with your friends, go to dances, keep up with your school work and focus on sports or fashion or whatever keeps your mind busy on positive things.

I think you already display the character of a brave, intelligent young lady and you and your family are going to get through this just fine. I wish the best of luck to you.

I'm sorry that you had to find out your mom was cheating on your dad! I agree with everyone else that this is something that your parent are going to have to deal with first, your mom should address the traumatizing text messages that you read.
I know your hurting inside for your dad. It is only natural, but try not to formulate negative opinions about your mom. We are human beings and we make mistakes.