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Bit of BIL problem!
Ok, I'm going to be honest.... you sound bitter to me.Originally Posted by bluebell
Not because you're annoyed at his constant fawning over his wife (your sis).. that would get annoying, I get that. I am friends with a couple that are all lovey-dovey, smoochy-woochy, "I love you more, pooky - no, I love YOU more, pooky" 24/7 too. And that's annoying. I feel like I'm going to get cavities if I sit by them too long at a cookout because they just ooze sugar and sweetness at each other all day long. Gag. Not my style. So, I get that being in that situation can get on your nerves, as it gets on mine too!
What sounds bitter is your comment that his compliments toward your sister seem to be an indirect jab at you - that he's saying to you, "you're nothing compared to her." Honestly, you SHOULD be nothing compared to her in his eyes. That's why she's his wife and not you. He should keep her on a pedistal and have stars in his eyes when he sees her vs. you, and you shouldn't take that personally. They are the couple, and although the swooning is obnoxious, it is natural. If anything, be happy for your sister and BIL, that after 9 years together, they are still that much in love. That's more than many, MANY couples can say.
if you feel the overdone affection gets to be too much, make a joke about the excessive mush. Be lighthearted, not critical, and tell the BIL he's being so sweet you're getting cavities.. so turn it down a notch. But, be prepared to get some flack for it, joke or not - because the lovey dovey BIL will probably take it the wrong way, and your sis might not be happy you're asking her husband to tone down the compliments towards her, as I'm sure she loves it. and it might not help anyway.
whatever you do, don't tell them that your BIL's comments towards his wife makes you feel inadequate... that's just going to make you look bitter, and will come off as jealousy. It really may just be in your best interest to limit the amount of time you spend with them, and as your lovey-dovey meter goes off the scale, to bite your tongue and remind yourself how great it is that they are still so happy with each other, and how happy you are for your sister to have found someone who loves her that much.
But, what you worry about is the above for his sister, and he knows this, and so he plays on all the goo goo's and gaah gaah's in front of you, his compensation... After all your her sister, you would care, and he more than likely knows those traits that you have just mentioned...
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