Family Debate..
I have been hearing so much lately about how important the family unit it. Mom + Dad + Kids. But I grew up in a very disfuctional family and I think I am ok. I know most people have there problems But I want to know what y'all think. Is it better to grow up in a perfect family unit or do you feel it doesn't matter.
☮“I am convinced that the women of the world, united without any regard for national or racial dimensions, can become a most powerful force for international peace and brotherhood.”☮
I think it really depends on the dynamic of the family. How everyone treats one another, how stable they are financially and emotionally, etc.
We've seen time and time again that Mom + Dad + Kids is by far NOT the perfect family unit.
I think success in family isn't defined by the genders or the number of the people involved.
All families are disfunctional in their own way.
Can't remember the figures at the moment, but for every known case of child abuse there is a high % of cases which are un-reported. That plus alcohol/drug abuse, neglect, mental cruelty..... and just plain stupid parents. Ya sure don't have to be a single mom or whatever to mess up a kid.
I agree w/ MT, it's not the gender or the # of people that's important, but the character of those in the fam.
What totally amazes me is that, despite the failures and shortcomings of parents, kids so often adapt, rise above it all and turn out well!
P
HAHA - Little and I were talking about dysfunctional families yesterday. Everyone's family is dysfunctional, it's the way of life.
My family is dysfunctional, extended family even more so. My mom did her best back in the day with what she had to work for. Thankfully I had her, but I don't really keep in contact with the rest of the family.
So, I guess, IMO, there is no 'perfect' family unit. The family unit is what works for you and your family. For me, growing up, my family unit was my mom and me, it worked okay for us. If you include my sister and my dad, well, that family unit sucked.
Right now, raising my kids, our family unit is my hubby and I, plus our two kids. I'm thankful every single day that I have the husband I have and the kids I have and I do my best to raise them into respectful kids.
Having both mom and dad in the same household being 'functional and important', to me is debatable. If mom and dad are not happy, the kids are smart and can see that. Is it better to raise them in an unhappy home, with the 'perfect' family unit or is it better to raise them in a happy home with an 'imperfect' family unit... To me, it's all about happiness.
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
I agree that no family is the "50's Donna Reed" family! That's unrealistic.
I also agree that if mom and dad aren't happy together, but hanging in there for the children, that can be even more devistating to the kids than if they separated... kids to catch on.
I think it's ultimately how parents(and the "parents" could be a grandmother, aunt, uncle, whomever) "parent" - every kid has a different relationship with each parent on an individual level. If they're strong relationships, then it doesn't matter if they're all under one roof or not.
I agree with all of you. But I also think the media and tv would have us all believe that if your family is imperfect your children will grow up to be drug addicts and/or in prison. Which I don't believe.
Because TV in general is so ridiculously biased! Pretty much the reason we don't even watch it anymore. We'll turn on the news if something major is happening, but the views in the media, even the direction of so called 'sitcoms' these days are too entirely politically motivated to even bring on any type of enjoyment, so, why watch?
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
I am a witch remember
So, I believe that we chose our parents in this life, because we have to correct the actions of our past life...
Take that aside, lol's... A person who grows up with difficult surrounds becomes stronger and wiser for it... They have seen all, the good and the bad and can make better life decisions for themselves, and their future family as a result.
Perfect families? That's what a person will tell you but it may not be the case, is there really such a thing? Perfect on the outside maybe.
But, let's assume that a person had it all, love, all the toys they desired, the best schooling, etc, etc.. They go out into the world sheltered and so, are proned to not "know the world" at all, harder task to live with and in don't you think?
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
I agree with CW we pick our parents coming into this world to bring us to a higher understanding of ourselves. There is no such thing as perfect families - all families have to face obstacles. Its how they handle the bad times and get thru to the good times that makes or breaks a family unit. Even the best family you can think of has had its share of unhappy moments the difference may be in how they handled that moment in time.
The idea of "choosing your parents" before birth is not an excuse to be a crappy parent.
(What? My mother is not registered on this board? Oh. Sorry.)
My parents are still married. They're dysfunctional. There are a lot of people out there with normal divorced families, and dysfunctional still-married families, and vice-versa.
Most people who tell you that a family unit who stays within the expected bounds (married, children, etc) are better, are actually selling their own agenda and might not even believe it, deep down, themselves.
made one wish for a permanent kiss that would echo through these bones like arsenic
Women are female (adj,) but not females (n.) We aren't dogs.
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