Worried about son in law

**Messymiss** · 04-19-2010 09:04 PM

I realy dont think I am a bad mother in law. I try so hard to get on with my son in laws for the sake of my daughters but my eldest daughters husband (P) just really worrys me. Most of the time every one gets on very well with him but I do feel we all tiptow around him a bit. He (P)used to have a very bad temper but seems to have mellowed since the marraige. Just the other night though, we had a family gathering and his little dog had a fight (not really his dogs fault) with our dog and he (P) went right off at his dog and wacked him (Not too hard) and shuved him in the car. The swearing was rather colorful though in front of my elderly parents. He is usally very careful about swearing. He just seemed to loose it. What worried me most was my daughters reaction. She seemed to sit there not game to say a word for quite some time while we all tried to get on with the evening. Then after a while she spoke to him in the kitchen alone and came out and started to party like everything was just fine. I am just so nervouse that he is frightening her into behving like everthing is always ok. Is it my imagination???? Please tell me what you think . I will be quite happy to hear that I am overreacting and a total worry wart.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-20-2010 01:56 AM

Hey... I get your worry because she went deathly quiet. But, someone who is controlled, and is being abused, ( I think that is what you are thinking), will not walk into the kitchen and speak to the person, and walk out smiling and enjoying herself, she will walk back out, still in a state of quietness.

I would say he has a temper but I would say that she knows to a degree how to settle him and that the relationship is not one that you have to fear.

It's scary being a parent... we love our children and any sign we see, we worry.

If you don't have the bond you feel you should have with your children, now is the time, so that if something does happen, they know that "not as a Mum" but now as a "mate" she can turn to you in times of trouble, or they can.

Don't bring it up as "he did and I thought" but you can always say, geez, my dog does nuts and creates your dog to go off huh, (laugh) and then say, Your my best friend, no longer just my daughter, your all grown up.. I'll always be here anyways, to talk about anything, even silly things.. and hug her.. Leave it at that.

CW

**Messymiss** · 04-20-2010 02:42 PM

Thanks ChandlersW,
After reading your reply I realized that there have been other times when she had had a pacifiying effect on him. I think she is very good for him and handles things brilliantly. My problem is that i have an over active imagination and I am always trying to annalize how things are for my daughters. I dont want them to go through heartache or fear but I have to realize that they need to grow and learn as I have done. I just needed someone to tell me that so. Thanks!
Messy