Mother troubles.....what to do?
My parents divorced when my sister and I were little (3 and 6) my father got custody of us and moved us to another province. When I was a teenager I went to live with my mom. It was a completely different lifestyle and for the first time since I could remember I had two parents and also two half brothers. It was really nice, then my step father left and my mom changed. we had our problems and when I was 17 I moved out and lived with my step fathers sister for a while and worked for his mother. During that time i tried to talk to my mother but she refused. when I turned 18 my father became terminally ill so i moved back to the province he was living in. Over the past 18 years I have sent my mother letters and pictures of my kids. when i have went to the province she lives I tried to get in touch with her - but she never replies. Until a couple years ago when I was going there for work meetings. I found her new address and sent her a letter via courier asking her if we could please get together and that I missed her and am sorry for causing her any grief. she replied by telling me to leave her alone and never send her anything at the address I have now. Leave things be for now my letter has caused a lot of anxiety for her.
Family members have told me that her new boyfriend doesn't know about my sister and I.
I don't know why, but I want a relationship with her and my brothers very much, but no one wants one with me
It's natural to want your own Mother to love you.
Send her another letter and tell her, you will live her alone, if she writes back and tells you why, what you did that made her never want to know her daughter?
Why aren't your step brothers talking to you though?
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
When i received her response it was via email, at that time I wrote to her. In my note I asked her why and told her that I will respect her wishes and leave her alone, but in hope that one day she will contact me.
I'm not sure if my brothers are not allowed to talk to me or what the story is. I've tried via facebook to say "Hi" but they have me blocked now.
I think more than anything you need to know... It would eat at me, if I didn't know...
I understand you asked why, but you didn't get the answer. I would persue and state clearly that you will continue writing until you know, you have to know and if she wants you to leave her alone, then just tell you so you can move on with your life.
You say things were tough then, like what?
The Step Dad moved out... Have you contacted him to find out?
Was he a nasty person? The only thing I can think of is him stating something perhaps that wasn't there, and so your Mum thinks it's your fault and has spread some words and so the brothers have thoughts as well, that are un-true.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Our family had a week long vacation at a cottage one summer and I couldn't go because I had my first job and couldn't take time off. My step father stayed home as well cause he had work. During this time he cheated on my mom with the women he is now married to. I personally feel that she thinks I could have stopped it or something. When everything blew up she wasn't nice to me and didn't want me around, so I moved out.
My brothers didn't really no me too well, so I guess they would side with my mom on not talking to me, that makes sense.
I only found this site today and I think you're responses have been wonderful and helpful. Thank you.
I think I will send another letter and see what she says.
Being a weekend, others will reply as well
Welcome to the Forum...
Well, that makes sense and then you went and lived with his sister, and worked for his Mother, perhaps she saw that as betrayal? And, before that, perhaps she "thought" you knew all along and accepted it, stood by him instead of her.
It's the only thing I can think off. The brothers as you stated didn't really know you, so yes, maybe those words were spoken and there's a blame game going on which is wrong...
Maybe you can state that in your letter to her.... Tell her your both Adults now and holding anything inside isn't worth it, where blood is concerned, & you miss her.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Posting Permissions
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Bookmarks