15 year old sister in serious relationship (mens opinions needed!)

**sarasbluegroove** · 06-08-2010 01:39 PM

Ok, so, my sister has been dating this guy for a year now. Fortunately he is moving away in Aug, but my sister and him are heart broken. All i want to do is roll my eyes, but i care about my sister, so i wouldn't do that to her face.

Now i am in germany right now, so i don't know the whole story, but my mom sent me an email asking for help. She wants to write this guy a message basically telling him to grow up and move on, and when he does that, and he is still in love with my sister, then he can come find her later. (this is how serious they are, they think they want to spend the rest of thier lives together) The reason she is writing this is my sister is worried he will do something stupid, she says he is at the point where he doesn't give a about anything.

Now, on the side, my boyfriend and i had an argument about this. I have noticed from the start that this boy has seemed very sensitive and a bit clingy and romantic. Yeah nice qualities to find in a guy, but sometimes that's bordering on needy and emotional issues. That's my take. My boyfriend says he's just trying to get laid, and is putting on a show in hopes he will get sympathy sex. (they have not done it to my knowledge). Are my sister, mom, and I basing too much on our soap operas here? Are we trying to see more in this than what is really there?

I would like to trust my sisters judgment, but at the same time, she's young and in love (with raging hormones to boot). What is your take? Men, would you immediately think the boy wants to get laid? Or could there be underlying issues that we need to be aware of? thanks for any input!

**Futureboy** · 06-08-2010 03:03 PM

If the boy is 15 then yes hes has more than likley thought about sex with her and unless he's a really good boy he's probably has had sex with her, depending on boy type, cultural and religious back ground.

I guarantee interfering with 15 yo girls love life after she has commited a year to a boy will end very badly

The best thing to do is let him move away and if shes still pining for him after a month get your mum to invite him back and be super friendly and nice but make the bedroom arrangements clear and police it. The better you mum and you get on with him the more likely she is to go off him or actually be really suitable and marry and be happy

How would you like it it someone interfered in a year long realationship you had, she may be 15 but you have to learn to be an adult sometime, with it comes pain and joy

I hope this helps

FBx

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-08-2010 05:02 PM

Ask, 100 teenagers if they met someone and fell in love at 13, and adored that person and you will find an abundance of yes's and some of crushes.

You want to roll your eyes, but then you don't know the full story.

Your Mum wants to tell him "stay away" because your sister is 15 and she has fear.

Your Sister and this boy are very close, to the point where he doesn't want to go away, leave her, that says he has alot of feelings for her, surely, if she has a fear his attitude is, I don't care about anything, all he can think about is being away from her.

I think when "Adults" get involved, they see a 15 year old as a child and rightly so. But feelings are feelings, if he was only after sex, he wouldn't care that he was leaving because he can find another 15 year old where ever he's going.

Young love is like a fairytale is it not? Think back on your childhood. It's like being a princess. And he is your prince, she is your princess.

I wouldn't be writing anything... Your sister needs only your support and understanding, she has feelings... Not interference of pushing this boy away, she will resent you both.

CW

**sarasbluegroove** · 06-08-2010 11:09 PM

Yeah, my mom decided to not interfere now. I told her what my boyfriend said about sex and she agrees, which she's glad he is moving away.

One question though. You stated that he could just find another 15 year old to have sex where he's moving. My boyfriends opinion is, if he has the chance to get laid before he arrives at this new school, his rep will sky rocket and that will give him all the more motive to have sex now. To me, this sounds crazy, to think of a guy thinking that far ahead about sex, and maybe doting on my sister just to get it. This is where i need guys opinions, because my boyfriend says he knew plenty of guys in highschool that would fake a relationship to get laid. But to me, that's a horrible person, and i don't think that many men are bad people. I am not cynical and like to see the good side in people before the bad side. Could this be true?

It sounds like an awful lot of work to be in a year long relationship and not mean it, plus that makes my sister sound really dumb for falling for it, which i don't think she is.

**Mes T** · 06-08-2010 11:14 PM

Well there's a lot of social pressure in high school to be a certain way, do certain things... People who succumb to that pressure aren't "bad" people by any means... If you're going to be cynical it should be about teenage society, not "men" in general.

We can only guess what this guy's actual motives are, but probably no one apart from his close friends can know for sure.