In-law issues

**needsupport** · 06-14-2010 02:05 AM

DH has got a really good job in a city - A thats 4 hours away from where my in-laws stay. We have been married for 5 years and my relationship with my in-laws is not great. Everytime they stay with us, something or the other happens and there is a fight. Now we live in a city - B thats 24 hours away and hence they cant visit us as often. However if we move to A, I am worried the family spats will fall out more often. But the job offer is good - what shd we do?

also we are trying to have kids and having fights often is not going to be good. Also DH may want to visit his parents every month for a weekend if we live that close. I am really worried. help me please

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-14-2010 02:23 AM

I think that more than likely your husband will visit his parents more so, then them coming to you and you don't know it will be once a month, it's still going to be a pain for him to do that monthly I think... What is his thoughts on all of this?

But, ultimately they are his parents. Why are you worried that he will go away for a weekend to see them, do you not like being alone?

When you have children, it's going to be harder as they will want to see your children. Can you not see if you can all get along and make amends of past problems?

I think if the job is more secure, more money and he's happy to obtain that position, then your in-laws shouldn't come into the factor of that decision.. This is your life remember, together...

CW

Welcome to the Forum.

**needsupport** · 06-14-2010 03:00 AM

thanks for ur prompt reply.
he is more than happy to go there because he thinks closer to family is good. he is unable to c the past problems.

its not about being alone, if he goes away to meet his parents, i am expected to go and meet them as well. If I dont go, that will cause more problems only.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-14-2010 03:07 AM

I see, so it's your fear and anxiety of what may occur "this time"

When you visit.

Sweet, where are your family? How does he get on with your family?

You can't stop him from loving his parents. Not sure why you all don't get along, do you? He can't see past problems because they are his family however, he needs to see, you are his WIFE and if there are issues, then he also needs to support you and stand by you. Not, not see his family but interviene if there are issues when you all do catch up.

I am sensing that this doesn't happen?

CW

**sourpuss** · 06-14-2010 07:04 AM

What kind of fights are you talking about? Can you give us a couple of examples?
When he goes to visit, can you plan something for yourself (and in the future, your children) to do on those weekends so you are unavailable to go?

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