Thread: Living with the inlaws - could you do it!??

when you give someone so much love and give them trust they take you for granted i guess. i have been so hurt in the past i mean i been cheated on, i use to pay for everythin with my other ex (MUG) as he had no job, im a nice girl in a relationship when a guy says jump ill say how high and i guess i need to stop this way of thinking.

Yeah, I'm that way too, or was I should say. I've been cheated on, I've been in emotionally abusive relationships, physically abusive relationships, relationships with alcoholics and/or drug users. So I know how you feel. But that doesn't mean that the first nice guy to come along is the be-all end-all, there's are a lot of good guys out there. And one that doesn't allow you to have a say in major life decisions, isn't that great. You love this man, I get it. But seriously think about the balance in the relationship. Why shouldn't you get to choose where you live? Sounds like you don't even have a say. Any time anyone says 'it's this, or nothing' that's kind of an indication as to what they are like in general. If he isn't willing to ask you what you want and compromise, then maybe you should think about finding the next nice guy that will, because there is one out there that will take you into consideration.

i see where you are coming from and you are right - but easier said than done. i feel i need him more than i need my own mother. when he tries to break up as it aint working out due to me being soooooooooo needy i dont let him and say no we can work it out so we carry on. lettin someone go is sooo hard esp if i have gone thru it a number of times - it gets harder each time - i was with an utter waste of space last year and he broke it off with me and i tell u what i couldnt cope at all i was such a mess emotionally - i wanted to quit my job and all sorts - glad i didnt and carried on.

I think the real issue here is your self esteem. You need to focus on you and learn to be independent before you enter into a marriage. This relationship sounds out of balance to begin with and then add into it that you are needy and unconfident, that's a recipe for disaster.

thats the problem - if im not with anyone im totally fine and have so much fun with friends etc - i may feel lonely at times but im so independent - but when i enter a relationship i end up having fearof being cheated on or the guy fallin out of love with me - ITS CRAZY

Your fear-based behavior is probably what's driving your partners to cheat or fall out of love in the first place. I would seriously deal with that before getting married and definitely before agreeing to live with him.

I agree with Sourpuss.