Thread: In-laws from

Does anyone else feel totally undermined and left out by their female in-laws? I have been married for nearly 7 years, and with my husband for nearly 10, and initially his family seemed close and we got on fine. However, over the years there have been arguments and we did not want to take sides with my husband's sister and his brother's partner when they fell out. Sadly, there is such a long history I don't even remember what all the issues where with various people. My husband and I lived in Leicester, where I had lived for a while sine being at university, so we just kept neutral and saw different relatives at different times, where they all live in Grantham. We were always invited to things.

However, since we had our son 3 years ago, we moved to Grantham to be near my husband's work, which he enjoys. I gave up a lot - 17 years of history, lots of freinds living nearby and several jobs to move here. Grantham is a very cliquey place anyway, as I have found out to my cost all too late, but my in-laws all seemed so keen for us to move here. My mum in law has been great, and helps a lot with our son, but no one else has bothered. It is a very female family, adn all those that were fighting are now so busy sucking up to each other it's sickening. But what makes it worse is they have never involved me in anything, no social events, nothing, and their freinds also ignore me on the rare occasions we are invited anywhere. At one family christening I sat there 2 hours being ignored by everyone, feeling really awful, while my husband was entertaining the children so that the adults could chat. This was the first of many incidents where I have been excluded. Certain family memebers send cards and presents for my husband's and son's birthdays but deliberately don't send me one. It would be okay of I wasn't lonely and had allies nearby, but all my friends live elsewhere. I have tried to meet people here, but the town is known for not taking to newcomers!

It has all come to a head, when a load of in-laws came to a family birthday celebration for my son at our house, and then just ignored me! They are cliquey, and also have made my freinds uncomfortable on previous occasions at our house, which is why my friends visit me less and I go to see them instead. I am so depressed I have ended up on anti depressants on a high dosage and now we have decided, in spite of teh upheaval, that we are selling up and moving back to Leicester.

I can't understand why they hate me so much. I know I'm not pretty like them and not a heavy drinker or smoker like them, but that does not mean I wouldn't appreciate a break! I can be fun on a night out without drinking loads! It really hurts me when they arrange outings in front of me without even asking if I'd like to go. One in-law had a baby soon after I had mine, and they all take her out to get a break. Are they afraid I cramp their style? My mates think they are being snobs. I am upset, because when they were all excluding my brother in law's partner, I stood up for her, as my husband pointed out to his brother. Luckily his brother understands, and is getting fed up with them too.

Sorry to go on, but why will they not accept me?? I am a more loyal friend than some of their back biting mates (I have heard so many nasty stories these people spread about their "friends") and can be trusted. Okay, I am not good at insincere platitudes and I tell it like it is, but that's me, at least I am honest.

Like I say, it would be fine if I didn't have to live near them, as this place is so small it is difficult to avoid them, and when I do meet othr people I think I like it always turns out they are connected to the in-laws somehow, and I want friends of my own who are nothing to do with family! What can I do to make things a bit easier until we can get our house sold and get out of this god-forsaken place??!