older sister problems :(

**lolbox** · 08-09-2010 02:31 PM

Ok so my older sister is 21 and im 16. My parents were away for a few days so It was only both of us at home.

So on Friday I took this as a good opportunity to go out with friends to a club and er...get pretty drunk to be honest. I didnt request permission from my sister of course because why should I..im 16 thanks. Then I get like 50 phone calls and texts at about 1.30am telling me to call her or shes coming into the club and physically taking me home. WTF. So I call her back and she makes me go outside and get into the car and go home.

She then shouted at me for like an hour because I was pretty out of it to be honest about how Im too young and I need to stop and shes not allowing me to go out.

So on saturday night she wouldnt let me go out either as she threatened to just come into the club I was at and thats pretty embarrassing.

Is this fair that my sister tells me what to do all the time? If i drink, if i go out, the way i talk to my parents, how long I spend on my homework, or If i do something wrong at school and get suspended she feels its her right to discipline me. I mean shes hardly older than me.

**LanaBear** · 08-09-2010 02:38 PM

You are a minor, she is legally an adult.

If your parents are away, in their eyes, I'm sure your behavior and actions are her responsibility. It falls on her shoulders, which I'm sure she doesn't want to get in trouble for the actions of a younger sister doing things that may be inappropriate. She's protecting her rear, rightfully so.

You may not like it, but more than likely she is doing it because she cares. Which being 16, you probably don't see it that way.

If you have a problem with this, you should talk to your parents to get their thoughts on it. If they do not agree, then I'm sure they will put her in her place.

**Little.Chuck** · 08-09-2010 03:06 PM

I would say it is fair for her to stop you from clubbing at 16. If it wasnt a underage night, then you are breaking the law. You are underage. I would say however, that it is down to your parents to discipline you for homework/schoolwork ECT. Seeing as your parents left your sister responssible for you I would say she was well within her rights to make you go home.

**lolbox** · 08-09-2010 04:04 PM

hmm so shes completely in the right?

I just really thought, you know..shes my sister and only a few years older, she shouldnt be able to discipline me.

My parents are away quite often and they never specifically say shes in charge...she does sure act like it though.

**ItsASecret** · 08-09-2010 05:41 PM

The law says she is in the complete and total right especially when you are underage. Personally I have threatened to call the cops on my sister when she used to sneak out to the house parties (I told her since I knew the house address it would not be difficult to inform the cops of the illegal activities), which of course were composed of underage kids drinking and smoking/taking illegal substances, I could not care less because she knew she was underage and she knew the law was not at all on her side. Once the law comes into play there is no avoiding it.

**hizenberg** · 08-10-2010 10:09 PM

um because she feels responsible if anything happens to you,i dont think anyone blames here only because your 16 and in most countrys its illegal to drink at that age, also their are a lot of bad situations you could get in and possibly not handle at your age.
sounds like she just loves you and feels like she should step in as she is the older one, one day you will be too old for her to say anything,untill then you'll have to just ride it out ,
good luck

**Jayla2251** · 09-10-2010 02:21 PM

Ahhh. What do your parents think? That you can go out and drink at the club? If so, then they need to not leave with an adult who has other opionons. I see the age thing you bring up, but believe me, the world changes drastically from 16 to 21.

**mrs.chrisco2** · 09-10-2010 11:30 PM

Coming from the "older sister" i think she is in the right i have a little sister and i was the same way with her when she would want to party! Heck she is almost 20 now and im 22 and i still get on her about it mostly if she is driving but its still scary for the older sister! She cares about you and you got to think of how she would feel if something bad happene to you while your parents were away! They would proably blame her if something happend while they werent there! You just need to talk to your sister calmly about it and show her that you can be reasonable about it and set boundries with her! You know like say you wanted to go out and she said no tell her you wont drink or do anything silly and maybe it would be different! or maybe she would let you have a couple drinks at home where she knows your safe (not recommene but just an idea)

**WildChild** · 09-11-2010 08:03 AM

It sounds like you need someone paying attention and showing some care if you are getting suspended from school. She is 5 years older and at this time in life that can be quite a difference. The fact the you took your parents being out of town as a 'good opportunity" seems to indicate that drinking and clubbing are not activiites they would be likely to give the OK for.
Speaking as a parent with kids about the same ages as you and your sister and having been an older sister ( we get stuck between the rock and the hard place of being answerable to parents for our siblilings but having no real authority) it sounds like she is acting very responsibly and is concerned for your welfare.

You have many years ahead of you for partying on your own dime (US coin) and time. I don't think you can win much support on this one.

**laulau** · 09-12-2010 09:47 AM

I think maybe your sister could of sat in with you? I am an older sister and have not always made the best choices regarding my younger sister. It's a learning game and yes you are close in age but that does not make going out drinking okay for you also. If she seems like she is bossing you round or telling you what to do that is just because SHE LOVES YOU!! My Sis hates it too but I love her so much!