Thank you for that wonderful, sensible advice. It is difficult because I've only told one female friend and she has offered no advice. It's not the sort of thing one can speak to friends about, particularly when you don't know for sure yourself.

I think you are right - if he won't admit it then move on to other "business" as at least he'll know he CAN speak about it in the future.

He does seem down sometimes when we talk and I often say "is everything OK?" but he's disinclined to speak about it. This is my real concern - loneliness and the closet thing. We won't be here all 2011 and I'll be worried most of the time I'm away, I know it. Thanks again.