Try and talk to your husband. He may be afraid of them 'leaving him' but eventually they will, no matter what. They'll find someone they want to date or move in with, maybe they'll want to travel somewhere, a new job a bit away, or whatever. But your the one he married, whose supposed to be there in the end...not them. And if he's making you unhappy, you can easily leave. Then who will support him and his chlidren? And who will be there if the kids decide "hey, she left him and he can't pay the bills...and I dont want to spend MY money on those...so I think I might get an apartment...I can do whatever I want there anyways!!! Woo hoo!" And he's left with bills he can't pay and his wonderful kids ditch him. Plus you say they go to their mothers to eat, who knows they may go stay with her. I would add the option to stop doing everything, but in the end that will probably only annoy you, not them. Him also saying that he's doing his part by doing the outside chores and garage, you may just be stuck with the type of man who thinks women cook and clean and they only have a few chores of their own. Manly one's. It's really about what you want to continue living this way. And if you don't, things need to change. Start by talking. Ask him why he's afraid of the children leaving him/the home. Find out if that scares him so much, he would be willing to lose you over this.