Thread: I'm going to explode!

Pulp:
Parents sometimes get locked up in their own pain or fears and don't realize how much of that they transmit to their children. Yeah, that shouldn't happen, but it does. Years ago my mom was going thru menopause, dealing with an alcoholic husband and enduring a long crisis at work, all at the same time. I was terribly slow to realize that she wasn't being a beach just for the fun of it, or that her yelling and hatefulness had nothing to do with me. Sometimes ya just can't fix things, only hold on and keep loving.
Pat

give her respect to keep your parents

What if you tried writing her a letter and tell her what you told us? Just the act or writing is cathartic, then you have all the time to edit, re-read and decide is that exactly how you feel and what you want to say. When you give it to her, maybe put it in one of those sappy Blue Mountain cards that talk about the wonderfulness of mothers or something. Tell her you love her and just want to fix things. Then she can read it, have time to digest it and if it makes her mad or hurt, she can deal with that on her own and hopefully reach that point where she can really understand your words and feelings and not simply react emotionally.

I really hope you can work this out because a mother-daughter relationship is so very special and so unique. It may well be the most difficult relationship we will ever have, may take the most amount of work, but we only have one mom. We can't pick em, we aren't responsible for them, but for all the stress we go through, it can be the most supportive and rewarding relationship we have. And it may dictate how our relationship will be with our own daughters. Sending you lots of hugs and strength.

I agree with what everyone has said, and want to reiterate that it probably has nothing to do with you, it seems she is dealing with some internal emotional issues. She should talk to someone, and the best you can do is try to be there for support and not get defensive. Writing a letter is a good idea, and be sure to mention that you want to help with whatever is bothering her, and that you understand it's not because of you. It's unfortunate that we often take out our issues and frustrations on the ones we love the most, but it does happen, all the time. Good luck.