Thread: Am I so wrong here?

Hi everyone. Like a lot of people here, I seem to have mother issues. It all started, of course, during my childhood. I was bullied at school for being too shy, I think, but I guess there was no reason why I was bullied the way I was. Anyway, I try to put that behind me and think of it as the past, because, after all, those people are complete strangers to me and I've never seen them again in my life. But the thing is I was bullied at school and at home simoultaniously by my older brother and, in less amount, by my older sister. I was mostly bullied because I was fat and had asthma. The violence was both physical and physiological. My brother was always very mean to me, since I can remember all he did was bringing me down, telling me how stupid, fat and ugly I was, spoiling my homework or art pieces that I had worked so hard on, he even once tried to choke me. I know siblings can have their issues, but to me that's pure evil. Anyway, I remember being 9 years old and begging my mother to please do something about the situation. I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday. It was like I was the adult, because she seemed very distracted and she was like 'Yeah, okay, I'll see what I can do'. Well, she didn't do much. The bullying and agression kept going, and as I was growing up, he started mocking me for developing breasts. It's weird because he wasn't a kid anymore, he was reaching his late teens. I seriously wanted to die. So I decided, that young, that I had enough of that and stopped talking to him. Currently, some years later, we have no relationship. And I'm fine with that, because it was my choice. I feel good, because I think I could've even committed suicide if the "relationship" had persisted. Given that my parents decided to take no action when I begged them to, there was nothing else for me to do. They always told me I was "too sensitive" and that I "over-reacted". I was sent to shrinks since I can remember...Not another single person of my family has ever been to a shrink.
So, the problem is that my mother hates me for this. She resents my guts. It's clear he is her favorite child. Everything I do is wrong. She's clearly upset because she feels he's such a good person and I'm evil. I never saw her that upset or sad when I was being bullied and feeling like . Everyone in my family feels the same. In their eyes I'm wrong, I'm evil and weird...
Sometimes I feel I don't belong, that maybe I wasn't supposed to be born as a part of that particular family.
In my heart, I understand how this can be hard for my mother, I know she's not a bad person, but, unfortunately, as a result of bad parenting on her part and my father's part, that's how things turned out to be. Currently, I have no interest on seeking a relationship with my brother, because he's like a stranger to me now, a person I can hardly trust. I was let down so many times that trust...I'm sorry, I can't do it, it's not in my heart.
Thanks for reading (if you do!) I don't talk about this with my friends at all. They know, but it's awkward for me to talk about this with them and they usually sympathize with me, maybe because they're my friends. So I really need an outsider's opinion.
Thanks.