Thread: Family Troubles

Background
My name is Brigitte. I'm 18 years old, and I am currently a senior in high school. I am tall, thin, and have long, blond hair. I consider myself to be pretty, but my sister makes it a point to call me fat and ugly at least once everyday.

I've lived with my family for 16 years, and have attended the same school district since preschool. I have a mom and a dad who have been married for 23 years, an older brother who is 20 (attending college), a younger sister who is 16 (also attending high school), and two dogs. We live in a house in the suburbs of Pittsburgh. I share a room with my sister, and since my brother is in school, my mom sleeps in his room.

I have always been a good student, always receiving B's or higher. My college list includes seven schools. I am the captain of the Varsity Rifle Team and have been the captain of the Varsity Girl's Golf Team for two years.

I have decent friends, but lately they have been drifting away, leaving me clinging to only about three of my girl friends. (I'll probably end up posting about this somewhere else.) And we all have had our boy problems... In addition, I have never seen a psychologist and probably never will.

Parents
I have a very difficult family to deal with. My mom and dad are constantly arguing and cannot seem to get along anymore. Their relationship is in the pits right now, and I am 100% sure that they will get divorced in the future.

Father
He works as a Sales Manager and is out on the road a lot because of this. His trips range from a few days to a week or two. He would rather hang out with his friends than with his family.

I am my dad's favorite child. It's obvious, because he is always curt with my mother and sister. He can never say no to me, and I have never taken real advantage of this (i.e. I have never borrowed a lot of money or taken the car etc). I have always faced resentment because of the fact that he does not like my sister, and my sister hates him. My mom and sister resent me because I am the only one who receives his favor.

He can be alright sometimes, but I can't stand the way he treats my mother. He has accused her of cheating among other things and really hates her. It makes it hard for me, then, to push that aside and like him just for him. Either way, he is nice to me in the end, and I try to return the sentiment.

Mother
She works at the local hospital as a Nurse's Assistant and is in school getting a degree in nursing. Previously, she work as a draftsman in the same office building as my dad. She still uses the conference room there (because we own the building) to study, and I'm grateful for all the time she is away from the house.

My mother and I have a difficult relationship. She says she loves me sometimes, but other times she tells me that I am a liar, a flake, incompetent, and worthless. I am positive that she only tells me she loves me out of habit, or because of some other reason. I highly doubt that she actually loves me anymore. She usually yells at me instead of talking. If she does start out talking to me, it always ends with her yelling about how I am lazy or worthless. I am applying to the Air Force Academy, and it has been a long and difficult process. My mother has been incessant, though, for me to "get it done" and "finish the application already," even though I am doing all I can in addition to my school work and my involvement with rifle. Unfortunately, nothing I do is ever good enough for her. I feel like I try so hard to achieve so little. Even my greatest accomplishments amount to nothing in her eyes.

I don't know how to feel about my mother. I have always wanted a strong relationship with her, but I feel as though there never really was one. I am terrified of her, and I never want to talk with her or tell her anything, because it will always end with me getting yelled at, even when I try to ask for advice.

On a side note, I have been grounded for the rest of the school year for having straight B's and for otherwise being lazy and irresponsible. Mind you that was the night before the homecoming dance.

Brother
He is currently away at school and I rarely see him. I respect him, though our relationship is more neutral than anything - neither positive or negative. Optimistically, I would say our relationship leans more toward the positive side of neutrality. I am content with how things are, and any minute imbalance would definitely upset all I have going with him.

Sister
She is a sophomore at the same high school I attend, and as I have said, we share a room. We have shared a room since she was born, and I am ready to rip my hair out. We've grown up as equals, and now she has a superiority complex, and I think I'm going to go crazy.

We have completely opposite personalities. She has type A personality (spotless room, organize with post-its, must have straight A's or else, etc), but I am totally a type B. I think she is crazy, over-emotional, and just a downright female dog (if you get what I'm saying). I have never hated anyone before her. We used to get along as children, but as soon as she got into middle school, things changed. She was suddenly too cool to talk to me, because she is one of the popular kids, and I am not.

Today, our relationship is comparable to our parents'. We hate each other with a passion, but my sister goes out of her way to prove her hate for me. Whenever my things are on the floor, she kicks them across the room and calls me retarded, for example. Today she asked me if our mother was home. When I said that I didn't know, she called me retarded. This may not seem like it's a big deal, but I have to constantly deal with this behavior every time I see her. I absolutely will go crazy if this continues. She is an absolutely terrible person. She loves to tell my mom about everything I do so that my mother will yell at me. My sister keeps tabs on me just for that reason. She whispers lies into my mother's ears just as Wormtongue did to Théoden in The Lord of the Rings, but instead of Théoden wasting away, he goes berserk.

It's obvious that she is my mother's favorite. They have always been super close, as my sister hangs all over my mother. Whenever I tried to tell my mom about how mean Caroline is to me, my mother shrugs it off and tells me not to worry about her so much. If I went to my father about this, he will go crazy himself and yell at my sister for being rotten and my mother for raising a rotten child. My mom and sister wouldn't be happy with me. So I don't do that. Whenever my sister goes to my mom with problems concerning me, I will never hear the end of what a terrible sister I am from my mother. Caroline once told her that I was speeding around blind curves while we were driving to school, but in reality, I was going the speed limit on an uphill. My mother lectured me about speeding and Caroline did nothing but smirk at me in the background.

Conclusion
I am absolutely at my wits end. Any advice on any subject I've brought up would be greatly appreciated. If I don't find an outlet for my stress soon, nothing good will come of anything.

As a priority, I need my relationship with my mother and my sister sorted out immediately. Simply sitting down and telling them about my feelings will bring nothing but ridicule.

And if you read this entire post, I commend you. This has to be the longest internet post I have ever made.