I really need to rant and I'm so sorry but this is going to be long. It's late, my mom is sick constantly so I can't just call her. My family has enough going on with my sister and her abusive relationship and I don't really want to always add to that. I really don't know anyone in this area, and I don't know most of my online friends well enough to rant to them.

So if you read the last MIL thread I created, I was frustrated because my husband wasn't putting his foot down, we were having problems because of it, and my MIL was generally making us miserable in an already miserable situation. Well, the good thing is my husband and I are getting along better, his job has leveled out, I'm handling anxiety WAY better, I'm not as sick anymore, and my husband has talked to his mom and tried to put his foot down.

So what is the problem? Ever since my husband and I have started backing away more, my MIL has gotten more manipulative. It's not just to us, it is to the entire family...her siblings, her soon to be ex-husband, her other kids and then us.

First, she took off one day. She had always called us before or other family members when she was staying in a hotel or something. This time she didn't and had just gotten into a blow out fight with her husband. So after a day of missing, he called us wondering if we had heard from her and that he was about to file a police report. Now here is the thing, she is FAR from a dumb woman. She HAD to know what every single person in the family was thinking (that he had done something to her). We spent all day trying to find her, calling hotels, hospitals...you name it, we did it. Finally we found her and she was like "Oh, why were you worried?"

Second, she was here the other week for dinner with her daughter, and out of the blue she started bashing her. Complaining that her daughter wouldn't take sides with her, talking about her as though she wasn't even there and it was just awful. I felt just awful after they left because it was my house and I didn't say stop. Instead I texted my SIL and tried to get her out of the house for a walk with me, she opted not to, but it was the only thing I could think to do.

Third, she continually brings stuff to the house for my husband (her son) to help her with. She always says it is hers or her husbands so my husband says okay. This is the second time it has turned out to be a third party's personal item. I'm not telling you exactly what it was, but imagine if someone came to your house, asked you to log into their own email because they were having a problem and wanted you to fix it, then you login only to find it some random person's email.

She tried to bring more stuff to our house for help, but after what happened on number three, I told my husband no more helping her at all, even if it seems like a small thing. So he called her, explained she couldn't bring the thing over and he couldn't help her. He said she took it okay.

Four, that afternoon, after he has told her to leave her daughter alone and stop treating her badly, and tells her that he can't help her anymore...she brings over a load of his baby stuff. She informs him that she can no longer trust her husband not to destroy it. She did this because my husband upset her, and this was a way to pull at his emotions and think the only father he has ever known is going to ditch him. Now I'll be honest here, my husband and I do believe that he will be ditched by this man (he was adopted by him around the age of five but my husband was pretty much abused by him for years). Another note, he in NO way would destroy this stuff. Yes, their relationship was bad, but through all of that all of his childhood stuff was kept, and now as adults, they both get along quite well.

Fifth, she logged into her husband's Facebook account this week and removed all of the kids from his account. Here is the thing, no one caught it until tonight, so I sent a message to his daughter asking what happened. What I think happened is she wanted all of us to believe that her husband removed all of the kids. I'm sure you are wondering why I would think that....it's because she logged into his page before and removed all her siblings...but she told us she did that. All of the sudden, we (me and the three kids) are trying to put the kibosh on helping her and what she is doing and next thing you know, it looks like he has removed us. I know better though, as does my husband and my SIL. That man, no matter what he has done, would NEVER remove his daughter and other son from his Facebook.

Sixth, she got a black eye at some point (by the way, not all of these are in order, I'm sorry). She has told us detail after detail about every injury she has received from her husband, every hole he has put in the wall, every argument in detail, and we know details of their sex life that no person should EVER know about anyone.....yet she just keeps saying "It's no biggie, I don't want to talk about it." By doing this, she is attempting to once again, cause us all to feel certain emotions about her husband because she is letting us believe whatever we want to. I'm 100% sure that a month or so from now we'll find out the black eye came from a work baseball game or something and she'll be like "I don't know why everyone thinks he is going to hurt me!"

I've already talked to a therapist about this who does agree with me about what is going on, unfortunately because I'm managing my anxiety so well now on my own, he says I don't have to see him anymore, lol. That's great, but seriously....I think I'm out of appointments and I could use some further insight here. lol

She is doing these things to try to force us to feel a certain way about her husband, she is doing these things to try to control our emotions basically and my husband and his sister are getting the brunt of it now. I get it, her husband cheated on her and he isn't stopping. We all know that, none of us are dumb....but she has gone too far. She is stalking him, she attempted to use a gps thing to track him, she is lying to us, leaving out information, and trying to manipulate us all....and let me tell you, she is right up there with him about how wrong I think they both are. Tonight with the Facebook thing just set me over the edge. His kids are good kids, my husband including (the last few years their relationship got way better)....and by her removing them from his Facebook...either he is going to login and see them gone and think they hate him, or the kids are going to think he removed them.

I had a whole Thanksgiving thing planned, and do you know, with her behavior the other kids lied about what their plans were and now are not coming to our house because she is going to be here. No joke.

I'm pretty tired of it. I mean....what do you do when someone says "Well I got in trouble at work for something" and you keep taking their side only to find out from the same person a week later "Well yeah, it turns out my cash register was 200 dollars over and they thought I was going to steal". It's an example, but we didn't get that information the first time so we took her side...then we find out she screwed up. That is what is happening constantly...with just about everything. (Note, in the example, she KNEW she was 200 over, and just withheld the information from us so we would take her side).

So what do I say? What can we do? Do you call someone like this on their BS? Do you just happily take your husband's baby and childhood stuff and just try not to feel angry about what she is doing to him? What do you say when your SIL who is the sweetest girl on earth is being attacked in your home? What do you say when you feel like someone is trying to manipulate you?

I hope you all understand what is going on. I've talked about it with my family before and they can't believe what is going on here and agree that she is being manipulative. I just need to rant and hopefully get some more insight about how to handle this mess.

Also, yes, I am aware I can not open my door to her or not answer the phone...we have actually been doing that recently....but because extended family was in town recently, we played host to everyone which is why she has been here more...because she came with them. My mom wants me to open the door in a robe, tell her I'm busy all out of breath like seriously interrupted my husband and I, and then tell her to start calling before she comes over...lol. My mom is crazy, but hilarious sometimes.

Seriously...any thoughts? Any at all...I'll take the good and bad. Yes, I know she is going through something awful....but there is a point where it has gone too far and I think she is way past that.