Hello. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We go to college together and everything is great.. when we are away. The problem is now we are both home for the summer, living with our families. There is nothing wrong between us. We live about 45 minutes from each other and we see each other about twice a week and talk on the phone. So we are fine. My big problem is with my family. My father (as far as I know) likes him a lot, but my mother and my brother dislike him for really superficial reasons and it bothers me so much because then there's this unease in the back of my mind about him and then I start finding problems where there isn't anything wrong.

I just don't know how to deal with them sometimes. They meddle in other parts of my life, but that's a whole different story. They both love me a lot and want the best for me, but they want me to go about it in the way they think fit (I'm 20 so I'm not fully independent yet, but I think I deserve the respect of an adult in the choices I make).

They try to be nice to my boyfriend and try to like him. But it really gets to me, because my boyfriend isn't the "cookie cutter" guy they would like to fit into their family. Neither am I really (but I start to think I should be), and it starts to get to me when after almost 2 years (nothing is definite, but I'm pretty serious about him right now) they still regard him as almost "a phase that will pass".

So I start to think I should break up with him and find someone else (even though I love him and really want to be with him, he's my best friend and I can really be myself with him) just to please my family and ease the tension. And it doesn't help when my mom starts to discuss how nice some other guy (the cookie cutter type) I knew from high school was acting towards me (who by the way would bore me, not accept who I am, and creep me out). And it's sad to me because all of my brothers are married and everyone has accepted their wives so nicely and warmly, but not my boyfriend. I am the youngest and the only girl so I know that has something to do with it but... sometimes the two of them will crack jokes about him or his family which really makes me sad, because it's seems so judgemental...

I don't really know what my question is here, I guess I'm just frustrated/sad and wondering how I should deal with it.

I just want to know why exactly your mother and brother don't like your boyfriend, therefore you should ask them to be honest with you and tell you the truth why they dislike your boyfriend.

It's sometimes good to listen to your parents because they always wants what's best for their children, therefore you should find out exactly what the problem is that they have against your boyfriend.

Sometimes your parents won't like your boyfriend/girlfriend because they are not from a certain family, they are not rich enough or they are not a certain tribe, to me it's wrong for people to be judgemental.