I don't understand it- My Mom

**lizzardb63** · 11-24-2010 06:08 AM

My mom is an animal lover and as long as I could remember, we've always had a pet. Well, over the last we'll say...7 years. It's gotten out of hand. We have 4 dogs and 8 cats. It is completely rediculous. Where does it stop? Where is the boundries? She just kept bring animal after animal home. Well, I am not a dog person and none of my dogs have obedience. My mom does not discipline them, so they jsut do what they please. (they are at least potty trained, but i still find pees and poops occasionally, accidents) My cousin had a baby 6 months ago and we always have thanksgiving at our house. Usually we keep all our dogs outside, but last year my mom let our one dog in, which is really irritating, because who wants to deal with a hyper obnoxious dog. Well, they don't want to come because they are worried about our dogs, which I cannot blame them. I just think it's gotten too out of hand and I feel she loves her pets, more than most things. I cant even express how much money she must spend on food and cat litter. Let alone vet visits. I appreciate that she allows me to stay at her house (i am 25), but it is so frustrating. we cannot have any nice furniture or carpeting, anything wood is all the cats personal scratching polls (like doorways and stuff). I am just so tired of it...

**KMonte85** · 11-24-2010 06:48 AM

Wow Liz... Sorry to hear. I know your mom loves animals, so she can't see what they are doing to her home.. but hopefully she stops bringing more in. The problem is, that it becomes overwhelming - and eventually, they will begin getting sick and getting the family sick (think of the condition animals in hoarder homes are like). I realize there isn't much you can do, but just something to watch out for.

My mom too, was like that. At one time, they had 9 cats. Luckily, they were able to keep up with all of the work and kept the house and their 15 litter boxes clean! She also required that any and all strays taken in were fixed and front declawed to protect the furniture. Dogs are another story.. although there are fewer of them in your home, they are more of a burden if not properly trained. Especially as our WI weather gets a bit colder, dogs that aren't very obedient will start wanting to potty in the house instead of going out in the snow and doing their business out there. You can try to teach them obedience, and they will for the most part listen to you, but of course they will learn that there are a whole different set of rules when you aren't around.

But I obviously don't have to tell you this - you're well aware! Just know that I understand your frustration! Mom loves her pets, and it gets too far - to the point that she's sacrificing her house and her family relationships to keep her animals. Hopefully one day you can move out, and then you'll be able to have the nice things you want - and perhaps a nice pet or two... but unfortunately, as you've said, its Mom's house, and she's going to do what she wants...

As for the holidays, maybe you can get Mom to agree to keep the pooches out for the day and NOT bring them in, so that you cousins will feel comfortable. It's only a few hours, or if she absolutely INSISTS on keeping one or more dogs indoors, ask if they can be kept in a different room with a baby gate or a closed door keeping them from bothering your guests.

**lizzardb63** · 11-24-2010 06:53 AM

Well my mom definiately keeps up with the cat litter pans, so our house isn't "dirty" like a hoarder, but it does get over whelming. My aunt said something to her about it and she said she'll keep all dogs outside until after they leave.
It;s too hard for me to teach obedience to my pets when my mom never reinforces it. She goes as far as letting them lick her plates clean and they basically hover over her when she eats because they knw she'll give in. Also, we have a blood hound who is bigger and she is always diggiing and licking in the kitchen sink. THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY. So I am the one constantly yelling at her and pulling her down, but because my mom doesnt say a word, it doesnt get through to her. She just lets the dogs do whatever. I don't really have a HUGE problem with the cats, except the scratching. Also- all pets we adopt get spayed and neutered.

**KMonte85** · 11-24-2010 07:04 AM

The scratching is tough to get cats to stop! I have 3 cats of my own, with 3 scatching posts, and they still like to dig their claws in the furniture sometimes! But I don't want to declaw them, so I just yell at them when I see it, keep their posts interesting with hidden treats and cat nip, etc.. and hope for the best.

Your right about the dogs.. my bf's dog is kind of that way too... I've taught him a LOT since they moved in with me, but he still knows that he can get away with more when the bf is around than if it is me alone with the dog. He's bad with food too - he'll stare at him while he's eating, drool dripping. But my bf also lets him lick the plate clean sometimes like your Mom does, so of course, where does the dog get the idea from? Its a dominance thing. The dog won't even look in my direction if he sees I'm eating - he knows who is the boss. But we only have 1 dog - you having 4 is much harder! And not having Mom on board to keep them well behavied is harder yet!! Why doesn't she want to take part in training them? Is she someone that feels bad having to discipline them, like she's hurting their feelings? That's how my bf is.. he's too much of a softy.

**lizzardb63** · 11-24-2010 08:37 AM

My mom just doesn't think it's a big deal. She doesn't realize they are learning bad habits from it....they feed of each other and sometimes get possessive over food and stuff.

**KMonte85** · 11-24-2010 08:49 AM

Grrr frustrating! Have you tried talking to your mom about it? Or maybe mention it to the vet when they have their vet visits, so he/she can talk to your mom about potential behavior problems with untrained dogs? Sometimes it helps to have a person of 'authority' give that kind of advice. Just trying to think of some ways that might help here. you may have already done this or you already know it won't work.. I just would hate for you, your mom, and your pets to be in an unhappy living situation

You've noticed something that I see often too with friend's dogs that are left to do whatever they please.. dogs that aren't trained, and are in a "pack" environment, can start developing aggressive habits. Not good, and not something that is easy to "untrain"

**WildChild** · 11-24-2010 09:03 AM

If you clip the cats front claws they will stop scratching - until they grow back. You have to do it regularly. Its not at all difficult and doesn't hurt them. The best way is to wrap them in a towel with only one front paw sticking out, you can do this in a calming manner, petting and talking to them. If you gently press on the paw, the claws will extend. Use a special clipper or toe nail clippers (sterilze them before and after). You can see that there is a curve to claw and you can see a white area coming down from the paw. Clip at the curve below that white. It's just like cutting your nails. I've found they are much better tempered when you do this. Don't know why but when they aren't scratching they are more pleasant.

This won't help with the dogs but it would be one thing less to bother you. Otherwise I suggest you work toward getting your own place.

**lizzardb63** · 11-24-2010 09:31 AM

Yes, I am definitely working towards my own place, but a huge set back. I was let go from my job due to downsizing and cant find a job. I am going to school for my bachelors, but just found out i'd have to pay $1200 out of pocket if i want to stay full time. So I have to go to part time which will delay my grad date. Grr...such obstacles.

I have tried talking to my mom- it's useless. Thanks CW, I will try it.

**Colorado** · 11-24-2010 07:39 PM

We always have had at least one dog, but no more than two. Anyhow, there is nothing wrong with being a pet lover, however with taking in pets comes responsability, and training them as to what is and is not allowed is part of that responsability. Our dog is very well mannered and is always welcomed by our guests because of it. If her dogs are unruley and obnoxious, then they will become unwelcome amongst folks who visit. I hate to see this as its not the pets fault - honestly its the owners fault for not training them properly; and Mom should have taken more time to do so.