Mother-In-Law problems

**chaya** · 12-18-2010 04:31 PM

My Mother-In-Law is on her way here, she will be here in a hour or so. This morning, after a great hour of sex, my husband told me we shouldn't do it with his mother sleeping in the next room. He said I screamed too load and she is sure to hear us. Maybe I moan a little loud at times but I didn't think I screamed.

She is going to be here until after Christmas and just before Christmas I should be getting my period, that would mean almost 2 weeks without sex. If I wasn't with him and sleeping together, it wouldn't be a problem but being together all the time I get aroused and will need sex.

**Seeker_Advice** · 12-18-2010 04:44 PM

If your MIL can't handle it, that's what hotels are for. Or maybe your husband should pop for a hotel at least one night while she's there so you can have "some alone time". Seems to me that it's the cost of having your MIL there with you. Either she puts up with it...she is a guest in YOUR home or your husband pays for a night or two in a hotel for you to have alone time.

I love my parent's dearly, but I love them being two+ hours away. Not down the hall... On the rare occasion that they need/want to stay over night, there are plenty of hotels within ten mintues of my home.

**LanaBear** · 12-18-2010 04:44 PM

I kind of see where he's coming from, but I've never personally worried about it. We've had the in laws stay numerous times and we've ALWAYS had sex with them in the next room.

Though, obviously he is and unfortunately unless he just gives in and says okay, it looks like you have 2 weeks of no sex to look forward too. You can always take matters into your own hands, so to speak, with him in bed with you or not.

And, from my experience, we're always louder than we think we are.

**the wench** · 12-20-2010 10:19 AM

an afternoon in a hotel is def the way forward...quality time for you both and an added bit of spice rather than just at home!....ohhhh and the MIL can go shopping lol

**jns** · 12-20-2010 11:18 AM

If you want to do something while your MIL is there, you have several choices, either stifling and/or masking.

In stifling, you could put your own hand over your mouth to limit how much sound comes out. It is hard to do effectively, especially when there are other rhythmic sounds and maybe creaking of the bed.

Masking is much more effective. It would probably be done best with loud music that was sufficiently long or a movie that has loud passages that last for a long time. A horror movie may be good for this. You could even have music with a movie playing louder. The sounds have to be of the type where your sounds and the rhythmic sounds would be natural to hear. Therefore, classical music would probably not mask correctly, but rock, hip-hop or disco music might. If your MIL dislikes the type of music, it may be even more effective in that she probably won't want to listen closely. Being newly weds, she should expect you two to have sex most every day.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-20-2010 02:10 PM

At least he has respect

I think that you will find, she will not be there 24/7...she will go shopping, or just out, she was young and newly married herself once...

This could be your cheeky time, day time sex and holding at night, making you more wanting the next day,could result in some real fun times for you both...

CW

**chaya** · 12-20-2010 03:15 PM

The lack of sex is the least of my worries. My MIL hates me, she hardly talks to me. If I try to talk to her, she goes and talks to her son. When we are in the same room, I can almost see the tension, we're like too bobcats waiting to pounce.

The only thing I did to make her mad was refusing to have a church wedding. I just couldn't do it because it would be in a Christian church and I'm a Buddhist. I think she expected me to convert, then get married in the church. She didn't come to our wedding but did send a small present. When we picked her up at the airport, she said Oh, you got a new car. My husband told her my parents had given it to us for a wedding present. After that she never said a word all the way home.

If I ask her what she wants to eat, she just says she'll get something later. I don't know if I can stand it until she leaves. My poor husband don't know what to do. He knows how much I'm hurting but he can't do anything about it without hurting his mother. I've been considering going to stay with my aunt until she leaves but my husband begged me not to. I've been staying upstairs on my computer, pretending to do school work.

**jns** · 12-20-2010 04:26 PM

It almost sounds like you took her little boy away from her. When she compared what she gave to what your parents gave, I'm sure she was upset. Instead of being happy for her son, she is certain he made a bad choice. I really don't get how people can be that way.

What type of food does she eat? It's been cold out, so I suppose a nice soup would work well.

If you want to try to break the ice, try making her a nice Japanese or Asian soup from scratch, something with good flavor and ingredients that are mostly typical American or similar. Ask your husband about her food likes and dislikes. This should give her the least chance to complain about something she has never had before. Show her skills that her son, your husband, can appreciate and she will start to see what her son sees in you. Serve it to her as nicely and politely as you can and serve yourself a bowl also, to share together. As for a conversation, talk about the achievements of her son. If he is a subject that she likes, she should appreciate the kind words toward him.

This is to break the ice. This is not how your relationship with her should stay over time. It should gradually get some daughter-mother elements to it.

**Colorado** · 12-20-2010 09:10 PM

You know what the difference is between Inlaws and Outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted....

Sorry, maybe in bad form, but I had to. :0)

**sallyskellington** · 12-21-2010 08:55 AM

I think you may need to say something to her. She is staying in your home and if she can not be more then civil to you she can go stay somewhere else.