Sister Problems
Ok, problems with my older sister (18 months older), have been going on really since we were kids really, I can remember always when I was really young, she was bossy, sometimes didn't let me join in games with our other siblings (like one day I came home from my only friends house and they had all made a 'club' cubby house, and I wasn't allowed in, or another time I wasn't allowed to make home videos with them). She claimed to always have been in the 'popular' group at school, was part of the dance group way back in primary school.
I guess the problem to me is it feels like she's always got to appear better, the older 'knowing' one, experiencing everything first, and getting angry at us younger siblings when we want to experience things for ourselves (like she's really mad at my brother's for their current liking of pot- and yet she admits to having tried every drug under the sun! and we all know about here first few years out of highschool drinking and clubbing every other night).
She is also the only one of us with a degree, and she just happened to be in Chile for eight months recently, and experienced the earthquake, which I know was a terrible thing, but ever since coming back, she knows everything, says things in Spanish (rubs it in a lot), and even goes on about another country, Colombia, where she went only for one day! I happened to have stayed in Chile a whole month too, but no, that means nothing.
And one last thing, that has annoyed me the most to no end, is the fact that she disregards the fact that anyone other than her things she has to do matters. When she got her licence, dad bought a small car for 'Everyone in this house who has/gets their licence'. Well, guess who used it? She and only she. For her socialising, getting to work (myself, I have always taken the train- you can guess she's too good for public transport), going to yoga etc. Then she went to Chile, and exclaimed to me, 'When i'm gone you can have my car!' (And then my aunty borrows it and crashes it, herself unharmed thankfully). Sister comes back from Chile, takes charge of our dad's ute, and this very moment, when it is normally assumed mornings I should have the car before work, she's gone off to Yoga with it!
And I hate the way she talks to me in a babyish voice. I want to scream at her, 'You're not my superior!"
I'm sick of her. And I have bad thoughts now and then, which is only heightened when she gets what she wants like now.
Will this ever change? Maybe there is a way I can tell her exactly how I feel? I can never think of the right words, I only end up being the 'bad person'.
It probably won't change, ever. You can tell her straight out how you feel, but she probably won't believe you. You are not a bad person. Live your own life and don't compare yourself to her. Become independent from her influence as soon as your education and finances allow.Originally Posted by livneeson
This sounds like most sisters. Just be happy you still have a sister and siblings that you are able to talk to and hug on a regular basis. My brother is a infantry gunner Marine in Afghanistan right now and I don't know if I will ever see him again. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, siblings will make you go insane, but most people have them, and everyone has moments like you and your sister. When you think you have it bad, remeber someone else has it worse and remeber to show the people you love how much they mean to you because they won't always be there. You sister sounds like a snob, but o well. Maybe she will grown up one day. She is YOUR sister and no one else can take her place. Tell her you love her and give her a hug
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
It's the " Pecking Order " hun..
You will Never be Older than your sister, Just be more " Mature " and leave behind the " You can't be in the Clubhouse" PAST feelings and Experiences ..
KNOW you are two different people and that You Will come in to your Own., She was the First to do Drugs and is upset when your Brother does them . Experience on her side and possibly her trying to teach you NOT to do what she has done.
A Car, when she has a license first ? Normal behavior, rubbing it in the Siblings faces ( Neener Neener ) Socializing . All Also Normal. First to have a Degree ? Same thing..
You need to start Not thinking of your Sister as " Better than You " But seeing if you can Better Yourself and maybe help her someday when she may need You or Your car or your Intelligence and Wisdom from Your Degree or Experiences she hasn't or won't have gone thru .
Grandma ( I call Gram) taught me
" You are Never the Best You can Be unless you are Still trying Your Best to Better Yourself "
I want to say it sounds like you are a bit jealous...she gets away with her behavior (which I'm not saying is right) and likely if you tried to pull something like taking the car for an entire day without giving a thought to others it wouldn't go over so well. You take the train, you've been to Chili, and likely you do other things that you have to do to get by. You find a way to get to work without the car...you know, little things like that.
It's okay and I totally understand the position you are in. I'm in something similar and I'm jealous as can be and the person in question ANNOYS me to NO end because she only thinks of herself.
I learned years ago though, that while she has had some life experience...it was nothing compared to mine. Through taking the train/subway I get to see things that she never would consider encountering and some of those things have made me the person I am. I had to struggle to find a way to work, but I succeeded and I know that made me stronger. The things that annoy you, that are making you find an alternate way are what are making you a better person.
I know it's annoying, but eventually you'll be on your own and you'll understand how to function and survive when you need to.
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