Is this a little strange or am I totally offbase?

**hppacific** · 12-21-2010 04:02 PM

so sunday my fiance left for work (he works on the oil rigs so he's gone a week and home a week ect) and i hadnt heard from him that night to know if he made it. i was kinda worried but i had figured he just fell asleep it being a long drive and all. so that morning he called me b4 he went to work and didnt say a word about his biological "father" comin down. then all of a sudden i get a random phone call from this his BioF and he said "hey ill be there in like n hour to pick up a heater. me n your man talked about it yesterday. you probably wont be up but ill be there" umm i WAS awake. but i ended up falling back asleep, so when he came by i was sleeping. i was confused because my fiance would've told me if he said he was allowed to come by. but he didnt say a word so i was kinda iffy about the whole thing. but i figured why not let him use the heater. so he stops by and i answered the door n grabbed the heater so that my dog wouldnt run out the door. and turns out he brought this creepy guy who i had never seen in my life with him and then hes like "hey can i come in and bs for awhile" i told him that i was sleeping and wanted to go back to sleep and then he asks again. i still said no, its 8 a.m. i dont want company i am tired i was up all night worried about my man. then in a really creepy tone he's like "you should call me sometime" so i just said ok. [w/e] and then in the same creepy tone hes like "dont be such a stranger. ill be waiting for your call" ..... uhhh yea. so i talked to my man this morning and wasnt very happy he didnt pre-warn me of all this and he was not very happy. he told him that we HAD a heater not that he could BORROW it and he said that if he was down this way to pick up this big box of stuff and take it to his ACTUAL dad for us so that we didnt have to mail it. and he didnt say ANYTHING about that. so i was kinda freaked out a little bit. and to say the least my fiance was pretty upset. i asked him why he was so mad and he told me basically the same reasons i was mad for but he seemed particularly upset about the fact that he showed up in general so im kind of curious as to what he's said about me to my SO when im not around. i seriously have to heebie jeebies about him now and this isnt the first time hes been all creepy either. i dont know am i totally off base or would you find the creepy if it were happening to you? im confused.

**KMonte85** · 12-22-2010 07:24 AM

I'd be creeped out if one of my fiance's acquantances was trying to get in my house to talk when I was alone, and then kept pushing after I said no. It's not like the guy is YOUR buddy that you would spend some time catching up on what's new.

Trust your gut on this one... this guy sounds like he's got an alterior motive.

**lizzardb63** · 12-23-2010 04:46 AM

Trust your instincts. I don't think you were off base.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-23-2010 05:00 AM

Your Fiancee has bad memories of his Dad, probably a con...He is frightened of telling you what his Dad is like...

Never let his Dad in and talk to your finacee of what his childhood was like...

Your gut feeling is right

**Hopeless Dork** · 12-23-2010 05:57 AM

I completely agree with the others above...those 'heebie jeebies' you got are your raw animal instincts about this man. The same insincts that make a mama bear know her cub is in trouble and come running to save it. Humans have those instincts, but we rationalize them away. How many times has something happened and you went against your gut only to later say 'i just had that feeling, I just knew'... that doesn't mean you go around sniffing ppl and any weird feelings you shout help lol

But when it comes to your own personal safety, err on the side of caution. The whole set up of him saying your man said to come over ... reminded me of those stories they'd tell us as kids about stranger danger where the creeps would say 'your parents are at the hospital... come with me' as a way to get close to a child. Anyone comes calling around your house without phoning ahead of time and getting you the opportunity to verify who they are and what they are doing there.. doesn't deserve you to answer or let them in.

**hppacific** · 12-23-2010 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Your Fiancee has bad memories of his Dad, probably a con...He is frightened of telling you what his Dad is like...

Never let his Dad in and talk to your finacee of what his childhood was like...

Your gut feeling is right

well he didnt know anything about his biological father until he was 18. he was adopted and i love his family but his biological family is a bunch of alcoholics and drug abusers and i can't be associated with that kind of behavior.

**hppacific** · 12-23-2010 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

I completely agree with the others above...those 'heebie jeebies' you got are your raw animal instincts about this man. The same insincts that make a mama bear know her cub is in trouble and come running to save it. Humans have those instincts, but we rationalize them away. How many times has something happened and you went against your gut only to later say 'i just had that feeling, I just knew'... that doesn't mean you go around sniffing ppl and any weird feelings you shout help lol

But when it comes to your own personal safety, err on the side of caution. The whole set up of him saying your man said to come over ... reminded me of those stories they'd tell us as kids about stranger danger where the creeps would say 'your parents are at the hospital... come with me' as a way to get close to a child. Anyone comes calling around your house without phoning ahead of time and getting you the opportunity to verify who they are and what they are doing there.. doesn't deserve you to answer or let them in.

i completely agree. im one of those people who always follow my gut feeling and i am always right about it. i never had a problem with him before because when my fiance's around he doesnt act all weird but if he randomly is alone with me he turns into this totally different person n i just dont understand it. but its the entire biological family. his "sister" and "mom" play these weird sick games about who can talk to him more or see him more and they instigate weird things to try and get him mad at me because they're jealous im around him all the time. and they mess with the dad and they all have this dramatic circle and frankly, its kind of horrible.
im really trying my best to just deal with it and keep in mind they arent his real family but its hard to ignore when they wont leave us alone! ha.
constantly there's phone calls about them wanting to borrow money, or trying to get my fiance to go with them places, or go visit, and its like all of sudden they just think that they're his family and his real family that raised him should just disappear and its not right. personally its kind of sick. they arent mentally healthy people.
it seriously bothers me that these people would be involved in the most amazing guy i know's life. its so sad and he tries to be ok with them just to defuse any tension but they keep acting all crazy and i just dont need the added in my life. i dont want the drama or the sick habits or they're creepy weird obsessiveness. ugh.. i just try and roll with the punches because by blood these people are "family"? i guess.. but when a 46 year old man is making me completely uncomfortable and my fiance thinks that its uncomfortable and isnt happy about it i know im not off base i just dont understand why anyone would think this is "normal" behavior?
i mean how many fathers try to get with their son's lady? ewww is that not the most repulsive thing? i think it is personally. and these sick weird games the mom and daughter play about who can talk to my man the most? its just like what is your problem people? i just dont understand why they have to act so demented and crazy.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-23-2010 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by hppacific

well he didnt know anything about his biological father until he was 18. he was adopted and i love his family but his biological family is a bunch of alcoholics and drug abusers and i can't be associated with that kind of behavior.

Well not totally off base, let's say then he suspects he's a con

Wasn't aware he didn't grow up with him...My take? When a con, brings another con, to someone's doorstep, it's so one can keep you occupied, whilst the other excuses himself to go to the loo, however, searches instead for cash, and items small, jewelery that they can quickly take, sell and use for drugs...and alcohol....

Also, the creepiness, I wouldn't let them in my house, for the same fear you had...

**hppacific** · 01-06-2011 08:42 AM

yea so i stuck to my gut and have been avoiding him but my fiance left for work on sunday (he works a week on a week off) and since he left creepy man keeps calling me EVERYDAY. i told my fiance to tell him not to call me. not ok. sorry but i am not gonna sit and chat with a 46 year old man on the phone unless he's my relative and im comfortable with that person ha. please tell me that this gets better! hahaha. sometimes its just like if its not one thing its another ha.