Thread: worthwhile Mom, Grandma, Mother-in-Law???

A bit of a depressing situation . . .need advice or encouragement. I am a mother of two grown girls and the widow of the greatest husband (15 years widowed). Still feel committed to him, so no dating. One daughter is states away from me and committed to her church there. Other daughter, married, one daughter, lives 30 miles away. I was raised in a family of seven children - most siblings local, and have multiple nieces and nephews. Our parents deceased.

That all being said, I am having such a difficult time finding family connection. I do still work (38 years teaching), so have friends. But, as they spend holidays with their extended families, I am basically alone. My daughter does invite me to her house (30 mi. away) for the afternoon, but I must share it, and my granddaughter, with in-laws. None of my family (my daughter's family before marriage) is ever invited, nor do my daughter or son-in-law ever attend any possible "my family" events. I grew up in a great family, and sure do miss spending time with them, but, if I do, I lose contact with my daughter/granddaughter.

Son-in-law from same hometown as my daughter and I . . .they dated almost 9 years before marriage, and were perfectly comfortable with my family before marriage. Now, after 5 years, he restricts her from any previous family connections, except with me - and that is ice cold.

Another sufferable Christmas Day, when they could hardly wait for me to leave. I am not boisterous, obnoxious, or judgmental. I take whatever small moments I am allowed with my daughter/granddaughter. I am helpful in getting dinner prepared and on the table, and do all of the cleanup - alone. Then, I am pretty much shoved out the door, so that they can enjoy their time together.

Any suggestions as how I can improve the situation? I do not overindulge the granddaughter - restricted to one small, $10.00 present (as opposed to the other grandparents who have no restriction) . . .but I do contribute $200.00/monthly to a prepaid tuition college program and have done so for 5 years. Sometimes I think that they resent that . . .

Adivce?