Family issue problem.

**ltsang** · 12-29-2010 11:12 AM

Help! Major problem. My wife and I got into a fight on why should we liked each other. Then later on she told me that my step mom and her mom force us to married each other. On the day I was about to be married. I refused to my dad and dad say no. If I refuse then I would no longer live with my dad or tell him that he is my dad. After a year later we got pregnant and she can't do anything while she was pregnant. So now we had a month and 13 days baby boy. I don't know what to do now. I can't take care of a kid by myself. My mom is at South Carolina and I'm in Atlanta. About 4 1/2 hours drive from here. So now my wife wants to go back to China to live with her sister. Which they brought a house there. So now she owns me money before she can leave. She own me $,2000 dollars which I lend it to her for her sister to buy the house. This $2,000 dollars is I save up from my disability check. I couldn't take care of myself, I'm on disability, I have a heart problem and I'm also on oxygen. I couldn't breath properly like normal people do. So what should I do? Should I get a lawyer or file a divorce. I'm also keeping the kid. She doesn't want it no more. My tears has been leaking from my eyes all day today.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 12-29-2010 04:13 PM

Very sorry to hear what a tough time you're going through. Especially during a time with a new baby when things should be so joyful. It's never easy to find out someone is with you for the wrong reasons. But it sounds like you both got married for the wrong reasons and were basically forced into it by your families. So now she wants to leave, but if you two are not in love with each other and didn't want to really be together to begin with, maybe this is the best thing in the long run. How do you feel about your little boy? Do you love him, connect with him, want to raise him? If not, please keep in mind there are many families out there that would love to have a beautiful baby boy to make part of their family. Adoption is a better option that keeping a child you cannot care for due to your health.

It sounds like you need to sit down and have a serious talk with your wife. No fighting, just talking. Let her tell you how she truly feels, what she truly wants and then make your plans. Let her know you expect to receive the payment she owes you and then you will divorce her peacefully. Then all you can do is pick up the pieces and know that there are brighter days ahead for you and your son. He just might be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Hang in there friend.

**WildChild** · 12-29-2010 05:48 PM

She doesn't want the baby.
How does she feel about the fact that you weren't at the birth, you left as I recall?
It sounds like you both have some issues. You have serious health problems, she came to the US to marry you?
Your earlier posts have indicated that you don't seem to communicate well and that neither of you is very sexually experienced or very compatible.
Generally money given as a gift can't be reclaimed in a divorce. It's only $2000, best to let that go.
It's really unfortunate that the two of you didn't figure this out before you had a child.
BD is right, there are many families who would love to adopt a healthy child and this may be what is best for the baby.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 12-29-2010 06:39 PM

Money is money...

Itsang, you need respect and love in a marriage...

How can you bring up a child on disabiilty pension? And, then I'm confused, reading your other threads, you sleep in a closet so you can sleep whilst your wife sleeps on a bed, you work until 10pm, and you go to school? Then there's porn, I imagine she knew about that and didn't like it?

And, are you angry because you felt she was too big when pregnant so you couldn't have sex, now it's one month and 13 days and she doesn't want sex from you?

Sleeping separately
Watching Porn
Not having sex

Could be why she's going home..and I wouldn't count on you being able to take care of the baby.....

Maybe you didn't love her either.... Maybe you saw the marriage as arranged.....

CW