Do babies strengthen the marrigge bond
a friend has a problem which i thought i could just find out what others think about it.
they have been married for 2 years and have a 3 months old baby boy. during her pregnancy she grew so big and the husband made jocks about her which she would also laugh about.
now they have a baby and he complains everyday on how much the baby is taking his place, how much the baby disturbs his sleep, how much she takes care of the baby than him and how much wight the baby has given her( he says this baby has done your body bad you are getting fat).one day he was in living room and she was in the bedroom he called for her and when she came in the room with the baby in her hands he said.....i was only calling you not him . . meaning the baby.
they are a young couple and it seems this is getting into their marriage, he comes late almost everyday and when home he is nt helping much with the baby. she is certain he is not cheating because his workmate told her he stays in office up to 9 pm and he gets home just abt 30 minutes after.
i cant give advice because v never had a baby and never been in such a situation.
she talks to me about it but cant help.....what advice can you give her.
from the stories she tells me the baby was not planned for and she realized she was pregnat 3 months into their marriage.
If you have a good relationship and make a decision to have a baby, then, yes, it can strengthen the marrage. Children are a huge committment in terms of time, energy, money and emotion. That can tear apart a relationship that is not strong and positive. Having a baby will not fix marital problems, it is very likely to make them worse and then you have an innocent, dependant person caught in the middle.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
I agree with WC a couple I am friends with had a baby whilst in the midst of having relationship troubles and now their lovely 5yr old son is growing up in a loveless relationship. I think they just stay together for their son. Having said that, I am a child minder and I have worked for some lovely families where their children are apart of the the bonds of the relationship.
Wanted babies can bring families together, but they can also cause other families to lose cohesiveness by the amount of time, money and attention they demand.
Unwanted babies can sometimes pull families together, by causing the parents to take on the proper roles, and such said parents find that they like those roles. OTH, unwanted babies are likely to tear fragile and bad relationships apart.
Unexpected babies will become either wanted or unwanted before they are born.
If one parent wants the baby and the other doesn't, the baby can be a force to tear the relationship apart.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
Posting Permissions
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks