Help....

**sammysweetheart** · 01-04-2011 08:54 PM

I have a drunk mother. She is OBSESSED with drinking. She harasses my friends and thier parents. She will call them up and flip out on them for no reason. I have lost many friends because of her. I can never have anybody over because she's always drunk. Our house is always a mess because she never cleans it up. She's always calling me a betch and a dumbazz and stuff like that. She always calls my brother a loser and a retarted and a stupidazz no it all whose going to end up being a bum. She even flips out on my grandma, her mom. The one time my grandma almost had a heart attack because of what my mom said. I am scared that if my mom keeps this up my grandma is going to end up dying. I am also scared that if i tell anybody about this that im going to have to leave and i dont want to leave because i love the school i am going to and i will miss my friends to much. I dont know what to do.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-04-2011 10:59 PM

And what does she call your husband?

And, guys? 21 and at school overseas does that happen?

Well, I'm 21 years old. I discovered that i have a hairy but at the age of 13. I started to shave it and that didnt help. Now i am married but we never had sex yet. We are planning to do it on our honeymoon this weekend. I am still hairy and now im all stubbly. I have pimples and bumps everywhere. Im scared of what he's going to think of me. I dont know how to get rid of the hair, and bumps, and pimples. What should i do??

And off course, there's the does he like me thread, where your kissing and cuddling a guy with a girlfriend asking if he likes you.

I think you should return to this thread and try to sort out the whole in-consistancies for the readers.

So, you live with your Mother and brother and husband, attend college, are married but flirting with guys from college, is that the scenario?

I also take it your Father doesn't live with you anymore...

What are you studying in College how are the grades, when did your Mother start drinking and how old is your brother, what does your husband do...

Let's get a complete picture........
CW

**brianna...** · 01-06-2011 02:55 PM

I understand how your feeling, although you love your school you should still tell someone because you never what she will do, it could get out of hand one day and she could go to jail. now how old are you? i just recently found out my mom has a drug problem its very hard to deal with and is in hospital now for over month i dont know if she will make it and it kills me , i know the pain and i dont want you to experience the same so you should find her help call rehabs or get your family together and all should sit down with her and show her the pain she is causing her loved ones and herself. if nothing works maybe try having meetings with your guidance counselor to help you cope with the situation or a close best friend. i hope this helps you and hope everything turns out to be much better!

**Casey715** · 01-06-2011 03:24 PM

It looks like sammysweetheart has some real problems CW. I hope you will be able to assist him.

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**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-06-2011 04:16 PM

Her

Just for the posters Sammy....okay....

Sammy is really only 13 years of age....She thought that by sounding grown up she would get more replies, therefore more help....

She can talk to her Grandmother about things, but she worries about her Grandmother getting sick from worry...

Her Father, beat her Mother and he went to jaol 10 years ago, from that point on, her Mother started drinking....

Basically, she came here as she has no one to talk to about things in life....

Sammy

When I told you to talk to your Mother, I thought you were 21.....

It seems you were 3 years of age when things started going terribly wrong with your family, and your Mother and Grandmother have basically bought you and your brother up yes?

Where does your Grandmother live? Would she let you live with her?

I know that your friends are important to you, but friends stay friends, if you were to live somewhere else like with your Grandmother, they could visit you there and you'd make new friends at your new school....

Apart from verbal abuse, does your Mother hit you or your Brother?

What do you eat for dinner? What do you have for lunch?

CW

**JadedQueen** · 01-10-2011 03:07 AM

The bottom line is your Mom needs help. She is an alcoholic and without getting professional help the chances are she will be unable to stop drinking on her own AND... if she is an alcoholic and drinks every single day it's physically dangerous for her to stop drinking cold turkey without medical assistance she could have seizures, withdrawal symptoms might be as "mild" as merely getting the shakes, or the sweats -- or perhaps nausea, headache, anxiety, a rapid heart beat, and increased blood pressure. After 6-48 hours hallucinations can happen depending on how severe her addiction to alcohol is.
I know this is a difficult time for you and my heart goes out to you. Do you and your Mom and your Grandma all live together? Is it possible to live with your Grandmother? If you all live together is there anyway to convince your Mom to go to an inpatient treatment facility for addiction? If she goes to an inpatient treatment facility (they usually last from 28-90 days depending on the person/addiction/extent of help that is needed) she will be given medication that will assist her through the physical withdrawls of the alcohol and make it a little bit more bareable. If living with your Grandma and having your Mom go into treatment isn't a possibility then you need to tell someone (close family friend, school counselor, family doctor) and explain the situation. It's not a healthy environment for you, your grandmother, brother or your Mom. With every drink your Mom is numbing the pain but she is also doing damage to her body, damaging her relationships, and it's not a positive environment for anyone to live in. I know it's a difficult situation, talk to your Grandma and see if the two of you can devise a plan to get your entire family help. I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope and prey that things work out for you.

**BabyGirl** · 01-12-2011 11:21 AM

If Sammy is really only 13, she is very Mature in the fact that she see's a Serious problem in her life. And is Intelligent enough to seek out a Forum like this and ask for help.

Sammy..

We are strangers and we are willing to help Guide you to " Real Help ".
You say you love your School ?

Well there are Counselors at school that you can trust and that will try to help You, your Mother and your Brother.

You cannot make your Mother or anyone else CHANGE. Being as young as you are, or any other age for that matter, But you can Change Your Own life.

I'm sure your Grandmother knows all about your Mothers Addiction. You may Not want to move schools or towns but then are you willing to get help, possibly get your Brother help and your Mother the Help she needs ...And it's Possible that your Grandmothers health may be better knowing her Daughter is finally getting help and that her beloved Grandchildren are Safe.

I can only ask you if you Want to live like you are Now ?
If Not, use that Maturity that you already seem to have and Change YOUR Life to a better one.

Get yourself Help and it will in the end help everyone involved.

Honey.. I'm 55 now and when I was 13, we didn't have the resources you do now.. No Internet, no real Support for things I went through. Except we had a School "Counselor"
And in 1968, I went to her and asked for Help. Because I almost killed a person (s) over my Traumatic Abuse. ( not related to your type of abuse ).

I got the Help I needed.. That's why I'm 55 and Still Alive

**iprepare143** · 01-17-2011 10:51 PM

I know you are really helpless because the alcoholic person creates a bad environment. so, deal with that person is so dangerous. so, according to me, you must realize your mother about her duties and provide love, affection and cooperate with her. So, I think she will understand your feelings.

**sammysweetheart** · 01-23-2011 08:20 PM

Jaded Queen.....
I am going to live with my grandmother after this school year. I am going to go to a different school. I know it will be harder for me because its a catholic school and i have to wear a uniform. i HATE uniforms. I am doing this because i cant live with my mom anymore. Also.. My gram wants to send her to one of those Help places lol. but i dont know if my gram can afford it. The only thing is that my gram is scared to do it because it would be forced. At one random day 2-4 guys would go into my moms house and take her. Then she would be flied down to florida for i think 2-4 months and they would give her a shot. the shot would make her hate alchahol. Then she would stay thier for treating. To talk about her problem. ...

HisBabyGirl...
I want to go to a counceler so bad but i was always scared to because i didnt want to move. i liked that school to much and i would miss my friends. but now i cant take it anymore. so im going to live with my mom until the end of the school year. thats not so long. i think i can take it. so im going to live with her till then. after that im going to go live with my gram. Also I am changing my own life. I am going into a better envirorment. I am going to go to a better school. I am going to live with my grandma.

ChandlersWish
I know that friends stay friends. Just not really the friends i have. some of them are so fake that if i dont talk to them for a day then theyll flip out on me. Then thier are a couple that are my TRUE friends. The ones that would be my friend no matter what. I know that because i already told my one friend about my family stuff and she doesnt care. she talks to me about it and says that we'll be friends no matter what. i go to her youth group at the church she goes to. she said that even though im moving she could still try and take me. So ya. Also for lunch i eat at school. thats like the only time i eat during the week. because if i have enough time MAYBE then ill get to make a waffle and some sausages in the morning before school. Then for dinner i have to make cheese stick or popcorn or something because my mom eats so much. she eats to fill the void in her life. for instance. she got a pizza for me the other day... i go down like 20 mins after she gets it and its all gone. then she makes me some alfredo noodles and tomato soup. the next day its gone. also i brang a cheeseburger and some fries home from my grams for me to eat later and i told her that the food is for me and i put it in the fridge. i go up stairs and then like a minute later i go bak down stairs and its all gone. Over the weekend i eather dont eat or i go over my grams. It really sukz.

Iprepare
I cant show love or affection towards my mom anymore. she calls me a every other day. she ruins my life. sometimes i wanna hit her with a plate of glass. literally. she runs my life. on friday i was talking to my friend over the phone. and i asked my mom if i could sleep over my friends house and she says no and i ask y and she doesnt give me a reason. then im talkin to my friend on the phone still and my mom picks up the phone and yells at my friend for no reason and says that my friends a piece of . Then i hang up with my friend and 5 mins later i call my friend bak and my friends step-dad asks who my friend is talkn to and she tells him. then he tells her that she cant talk to me no more on the phone cuz my mom called my friends parents saying not to call the house phone anymore or else my mom will call the cops. its bull . like really. then today i get bak from my grams and i ask my mom if she remembers any of this and she says no. she thinks all this hurts only her. u dont kno how many times i ran away or almost killed myself because of what she does. because i think its my faunt. because i feel like im no good for the world. because i feel like a piece of . she ruins my life and i cant give her love. i try and try but she's not my mother anymore. she's dead to me. and if when i move in with my gram im thinkin of takin my mom to court so she cant have custody of me anymore. that way she cant call my gram up yelling at her for taking me from her or something like that. i kno my gram wont let me but i want to. thats how much i hate my mother.

Also thank you everybody for all the comments(= this helps alot

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