Thread: Food for Thought

One of my favorite stories to share is the story of my mother's father and herself. Mainly because of bitter resentment I can't seem to ever let go no matter how much time has passed.

Well for one: I am multi-racial. African-American, Native American, and Caucasian.

My mother is Caucasian. She grew up in Northern Kentucky and she was a great daughter in her father's eyes! She cried when she got Cs because she always got the best grades and she was in the band. Her younger sister was wild and she was the responsible one that helped out around the house.

Apparently when she turned 18 that all went downhill. She met my um...sperm donor? Is that ok to say? She thought she had fallen in love and he had gotten her pregnant. Her father disowned her simply because she was in a relationship with an African-American...male. Man just doesn't fit there.

So throughout our whole lives, my siblings and I never knew that grandfather. He didn't want anything to do with us or to do with her and my grandmother ended up leaving him early on in our lives because he made her choose between her daughter and him (how pathetic).

The first time I ever saw this man was at his funeral. He had been murdered by a man that had shot his wife, shot him, then shot himself (double-murder suicide). They had this military burial and all these people were sad and talking about how great of a man he was. I was so confused! I think I was about...11? And I couldn't grasp how a man that refused his daughter and his grandchildren could be considered great.

So after wondering forever why I wasn't good enough to be able to meet my grandfather, I asked my grandma. That's when she told she had to make the choice between them. She also told me that while my mother's father was in a war, an African-American comrade had chosen to step over him while he was crying out for help and that was why he carried such a strong hatred for that race.

I feel so sorry for my deceased grandfather. He missed out on some good people. My mother is the strongest woman I've ever met in my life. Men have put her through a lot of things that somehow she struggled through and still manages to have the sweetest soul! My sister and I have given her countless headaches (darn those teenage girls!) and she has had to put up with a lot from everyone.

My big brother is awesome. He's very responsible and focused and he's going to be very successful in life! This is his last year of school and he's going to be starting his own company after he dominates whatever company he decides to go to first.

My little sister may be a little brat sometimes but she's outspoken and confident and she doesn't let anyone get her down. She's been through more than all of us. She's had kidney problems since she was 4, she's had 3 transplants, and she's lost her father so many times to drugs and jail. And yet she still manages to find joy and happiness in simple things.

The one I feel most confident about is my little brother. He is my pride and joy. I have a maternal love for him that will never ever die. He's on the right track in his life. He's like the light of all our lives. He's smart, athletic, confident, and friendly. Far from a push over though so don't test him!

I just feel so sad that he had to miss out on this awesome family that I call my own! My family is TINY. I don't speak to my dad's side because they've disowned my older brother and I also. It's really sad. I just wish racism didn't exist anymore. I can't even fathom how to hate someone or judge them due to their heritage or the color of their skin. Love and peace are my biggest desires. The world we live in today is such a sad and cruel place...