Thread: sisters (in law) issues

Thank you for your kind support Mr. jns. Please, send my regards to your wife

Boy, I'm so lucky to have such a kind support from all of you, especially Mr. Pretzel, busy mama of 4 (I can imagine how busy you are ), WildChild, Ms. Chandlers Wish, last but not least Mr. jns who has been married for 21 years to I'm sure lovely woman from Thailand .

Thank you for welcome me with such a warm gesture, it reminds me of people from home. I guess most of you had help me to understand what situation I'm facing. If it is the cultural difference then nothing I can do about it, no matter what I do I still be Asian, right? . It's kind of funny actually, I was worry that my family the one who can't accept my husband apparently my hubby's side who can't accept me up to this moment. Funny thing, all of them are women. I love my father in law so much, he has been kind to me from the beginning. One time I told my hubby that I love his dad more than I love him . I'm so touch when he made me tea when 1st time visit his house. I have good relationship with my mother in law as far as I know though my hubby told me that she actually objected if he marry me. I noted what hubby told me so just I know my position and from there I try to be positive. I'm sure she was objected as she love her son dearly and she wasn't know me well. I get along well with hubby's cousin and wife. As matter of fact when we visited hubby's homeland we make sure stayed with them for 2 - 3 days after staying with mom and dad in law. I look for advise related with hubby within him as they are best buddy.

I'm so relieve that all my family can accept my hubby well. I'm from small family, mom and I are only child and my dad's sister passed away long time ago. I have adopted siblings and long distant family who treat hubby ok. My parent accept my hubby like their own child as matter of fact I notice that my mom love my hubby more than me, OUCH! LOL. My mom never made me tea but my dad though she always make my hubby tea with her special china tea sets which she got from her mom which used for special occasion only, boy I'm jealous! LOL. Many time my hubby tease me that my mom doesn't love me but love him instead because of this kind of special treatment. My dad love my hubby as well, he treat him like a son that he never has. Couple year ago when my mom passed away, my dad gave my hubby my mom's family heirloom. A ruby ring that my grand father had and been passed from his ancestor. Dad told hubby, it should be pass on to our child (son especially) if we have one someday. My mom's side family still have royal blood so it is common to passing heirloom to the next generation. If my family looking at the race it is impossible that my hubby received any.

That's how my family respect my hubby and love him as part of our family member. I never ask my hubby's family to treat me that special but is there any way that I can try for them to accept me? I haven't talk to cousin about what just happen on the wedding as he wasn't invited and still figure it out what's going on by my self. It is kind of embarrassing actually from where I'm coming from if treated that way by family member. FYI, I haven't and I don't think I can talk about this issues to my family member, especially my dad.
Some of you pointed a good idea, to stand up. How? I'm not the kind of shouting or yelling person, is there any good idea what decent words should I say or kind gesture to face any of those situations? My best friend in OZ told me to start buying sisters in law expensive things and I was laugh like I haven't done any. All I received was nothing not even thank you, one time I bought oldest sister's son garment which my mom in law told me he loves basket ball. I bought those from Singapore and worth 50 SGD per piece and all his respond was 'This must been fake!' with the tone and threw them and his mother just stood there. I stop buying anyone who can't say thank you anymore. I'd rather sending those money to some orphanage house. What about my hubby to straight them or stick with me. How? I don't want my hubby mad to his family or against them for me. Coming from small family I value family, no matter how bad is your family they are your family. You can't choose your family member even when they are adopted. I'm so sorry for such a question as honestly, I'm clueless as this is my 1st marriage (hubby as well - and we plan will be our last) and I never see my side of family treat family members like that.

Thank you everyone for spending time responding to my clueless mode. May good karma return your kindness'