Don't know how to handle my younger sister..

**innocenteyes** · 03-20-2011 01:43 PM

Both me and my younger sister are in our late twenties(3 years apart) I still after all these years struggle with our relationship.

I get fed up with how she treats me. She's forever telling me all the things about me that are abnormal or whatever it is she thinks it is that makes her comment on them.

Comments about how I eat, sneeze, clap, sway, how hot I put heating on, how loud my music is, if I leave a door not fully shut, says I wake her up at night if I go toilet etc etc.

Maybe it's a family thing our dad was quite controlling. We'd always make sure the heating was off an hour before he got home so he didn't know we'd had it on!

She can also be really nice and we have a lot in common that's why it's hard.

I sometimes think she is really angry at me and maybe resents things from the past that's why all the nasty digs but we've had plenty of arguments over the years and past things brought up and somewhat resolved that surely now the digs should stop.

I'm not good at handling comments like she makes I try to stick up for myself but somehow she continues.

I have a gig to go with her on Saturday and I know for certain she'll start laughing at my clapping and dancing and saying I'm hardly moving. Well would anyone feel comfortable being watched so much:/ What shall I do start stopping the comments??

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-20-2011 03:06 PM

Move out of home.

Different "types" find it difficult living together however outside of that environment you have 1) better control over your own life, so you don't feel insecure about yourself, she has to be dragging you down right? And, 2) a better relationship with her as you gain your own self worth, confidence and independence, you will be able to turn around to her and say, this is my life, I am who I am, you are who you are, I'm happy with the way I clap and dance....what is she going to say? But, but, but, then smile and say did you not hear me?

CW

**innocenteyes** · 03-20-2011 04:28 PM

Thanks CW I think that would be the best option. We didn't live together for 10 years but when we both moved to London it just kind of happened. I tried to move in with some mates 2 years ago cos we hadn't been getting on but she got upset and said don't leave me in this flat share we were in with 2 guys(she was never happy there) and kept on at me until I agreed for us to move out together.

I guess I should have been stronger!!

Sometimes I can't say anything at a gig cos then we will probably argue and then have weeks of barely speaking at home. As neither of us go out much it makes it awkward, If we didn't live together not speaking for weeks would be easier!!

Sometimes it can get too much..it has improved greatly since me and ex split up a year ago cos she was on at me all the time them. I never had a moments peace she hated the fact he was in my life and forever put him and our relationship down.

Also until I don't live with her I won't have a relationship or date as it's not fair to put anyone through what my ex was put through.

I really really hate moving I guess it's the only way!