My mom :(
You see I'm only 13 and I already know a lot about how things work in the real world. In fact I think I've known for awhile. My mom has been always very moody as long as I can remember. One minute she'll be very happy and everything is going fine. Then all of a sudden one thing goes wrong and it springs her into a horrible bad mood where everyone pays for it. I remember when I was 7 asking my dad if my mom was bipolar. He said no that she just needs everything to perfect. The thing is I'm getting older now and I'm sort of embarrassed and scared to bring my friends of and especially my boyfriend. None of my friends know she's like this I've tried very hard to keep it a secret. I just can't take this anymore. You don't know how many nights I've gone to bed crying cause of things my mom has said to me. (One of them being tonight) The other thing is she usually makes it seem like me or one of my sisters is to blame for the issue. I'm scared to ask my friends for help. So thats why I want advise from people who aren't in the picture if you know what I mean. I think it's going way to far. I've almost "cut" myself several times and I've had thoughts of suicide for sometime now, also I've thought of running away. I spend most my time in my room to avoid my mom and I try to get out of the house as much as possible. I'm afraid to talk to her about cause if I tell her she's the reason I want to go suicide that would just make her even more mad. I'm really not a bad kid. I'm a strait A student and I have a lot of friends and I join sports and other clubs. I don't do drugs or anything like that. I just think I'm in a bad situation but I just want to know how to make it better. So if you have any advise for me I would appreciate it if you replied.
Maybe start by talking to a school counselor about your situation with your mom. Or if you go to church, someone who you can trust there. Someone to guide you and someone to act as a listening board will go a long way in helping you cope with the situation. Good luck, there is someone out there who can be close to you so you can cry on their shoulder and who will listen to you. Keep up the good work in school.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
Sweetie, I'm sorry you are having to go through this. JNS had some good suggestions and do share with a few of close friends what is going on. It can really help to have people to talk to and who understand. I know school counselors can be a mixed bag, usually for non academic things you can pick which one you want to talk to. Is there a teacher you comfortable with? If so it might be good to talk with them.
It sounds like your dad is what we call an enabler but might it help to try talking to him again? Tell him you are concerned about your mom and that her mood swings are very stressful for you. Now that you are older he may be more willing to listen. It does sound like she has a real problem. People who need everything to be "perfect" do have a problem.
Does she take any medications?
Is there anyone else in your family like an aunt, uncle or grandparent that you could talk to?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
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