Thread: Do you have maternal instinct??

I see now

I just wondered to myself because after I'd told my brother's girlfriend, she just gave me a confused look and asked "Why would you not want kids?"
As if it wasn't normal. not to want them!

I have 4 kids, Son 36, he has no kids as he is sterile from having a very severe bout of Chicken Pox when he was 17. He doesn't mind being sterile as he doesn't want kids. He Loves kids, just doesn't want any of his own.

31 year Old Daughter, who is married 9 years, to a man that is Sterile by choice
* Dr. Snippit*. He however has two kids from his first marriage. My Daughter does Not want Kids, she does not want the responsibility or loss of Freedom that she has now in her life. Even if she should ever remarry, ( Not Likely ) She says she does not ever want kids.

24 year old Son. Still a Virgin,( his Choice ) Also does Not want kids, He can tolerate well behaved kids, actually think some are cute or sweet. But he is the first one to leave a store or restaurant when Kids are screaming or throwing fits or just being loud or rambunctious. He says he might possibly( in about 10 years) have a relationship with a woman that had a child if that child was over 9 years old , well past the crying, temper tantrum, Gimme Gimme Spoiled brat stage.

Just turned 21 year old Daughter. Also still a Virgin. Finally has a Boyfriend from online and in another State, he flew out here in March and spent a week with us. She & he swear they are both still Virgins. I know she is as she is terrified of Sex. She was Molested when 8 years old. She is also terrified of Child Birth or even the thought of pregnancy. She says she can't say Never to having a Child, but her goal is her Education and Career.
She, like her brother, thinks kids are ok when well behaved, but she babysat when she was 16 and 17 and decided that she thought it a chore and a frustrating one at that and does not want kids of her own, at least not until her mid to late 30's and that is Only a Possibility of wanting one.

Me, I never really wanted any kids, didn't plan on them and they were not in my Goals when I was young. Though my " Blessings" were born and my " Maternal " Instinct did kick in and they are now all Adults and my Best Friends . Well the 2 youngest are and the 31 year old daughter is a Daughter and Friend, when we see each other, which is rare, because of her busy lifestyle. Or when she needs to see Mama because she needs to borrow Money .. Lol

So Maternal Instinct ? I'm not sure if it is Bred into all Women, where we feel incomplete without having kids to Love and Raise. I am Blessed with the 4 I have, My Instinct to , once they were here, was to raise them Happy and Healthy, give them the Skills and opportunity to become Respected and Loving Adults and to make Choices on their Own. Which so far leaves me with no plans of Grandchildren in the near future if ever .

I can live with that., But should a Grandchild come into my life.. I'm sure my " Maternal Instinct" would kick in, to help make sure that Child of My Child... Became what these 4 of mine have become.

If you have the capacity to Love, that's all the "maternal instinct" you need. I don't have children (yet), but when I was 9, 10, and 11 years old I was often left alone with my baby brother while my parents either worked or were out drinking. Much too young to be babysitting imo, all I knew was that babies needed to eat, sleep, pee and poop. So when he cried I figured it was because he was tired, hungry, or needed a diaper change. When none of those were the problem, I would just pick him up and hold him, and he would stop crying. He just wanted love and attention, something he wasn't getting enough of from my parents. Even though he wasn't my child and I didn't know wtf I was doing, there was a special bond created between us. I loved him more deeply than you could imagine, and that's all I needed... he was my whole world.

He will be 19 in June, and though I didn't raise him (he was adopted by a wonderful family), I know I had an impact on him. He's in college, on the Dean's List, and I couldn't be more proud of him. That feeling, knowing that I had set an example and had an impact on the man he's become, is incredible. I can imagine that when it's your child that you have raised, that feeling would be even more intense when you see them grow up and know that you have done an amazing job, simply because you love them.