Abused by every family member and cant get over it any advice?

**chchch** · 04-26-2011 12:41 AM

Basically I was physically, emotionally and psychologically abused in the home for years by my mother. My dad did nothing about it and just let it happen and my younger siblings were told that I deserved it and that I was a bad child and thats why I was being punished all the time. I never did anything to deserve being assaulted sometimes daily, having my life threatened and being ostracised from my entire extended family and social network.

When I was 17 I moved straight in with my boyfriends family to get away from the only to find I was abused by these people aswell. For 3 years they made derogatory comments to my face and behind my back, ostracised me and my boyfriend from his entire extended family and ripped up my clothes, stole and broke/ruined my property and personal belonings, they teased me about the size of my nose and broke my confidence so much I actually had cosmetic surgery.

Not only this but I was also bullied out of high school and one of the teachers at the school apparently told about 50 students that I had admitted to him that I was a drug user and had broke and enterred into someones house and stole. None of this is true but I was still bullied out of school.

Now my own sister has admitted she knew all along I was being bullied behind my back by my boyfriends family and she is friends with his sister who was the main perpetrator.

We were kicked out of home and have subsequently made a life for ourselves but we have no family now on either side, I want to have kids and get married, and people tell me things like I should forgive them and let go of the past? what do you think i should do I cant let go I am so angry at the way I have been treated by everyone?

**jns** · 04-26-2011 05:29 AM

Consider moving away so as to complete the break. You need to heal before you can forgive and healing is not possible with constant irritation.

**spurzzz** · 04-26-2011 06:59 AM

"I never did anything to deserve being assaulted sometimes daily"

Why would your mum only abuse you and not your other siblings. Is your mum nice to everyone else? If so, why would she single out a child to abuse her? What would your mum tell us in her side of the story? It is obvious that you have been through a lot and gone through a lot of trauma and I think this is clouding your perception of things. You seem to have this "i'm a victim" "everyone" is against you mentality which you need to realize is not the case.

"one of the teachers at the school apparently told about 50 students that I had admitted to him that I was a drug user and had broke and entered into someones house and stole"

So who told you that then? The same idiots that are bullying you I guess and you believe it. A teacher can get fired for making such accusations so it is highly unlikely that they would do that......it is definately a rumour from some cruel children who probably have major issues to deal with themselves. Don't believe in rumours and don't take it to heart. As you get older you will learn to seperate the rubbish from the goods....what that means is that you will be less tolerant of idiots who are causing great trauma in life and more tolerant of those who are there to appreciate who and what you are.

Lesson here is get rid of the Toxic people who are disturbing your life and go find some real people who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

"I want to have kids and get married"

Not right now you don't. That won't solve anything.....You need to sort yourself out, your life out. Get your confidence up, improove your self esteem and stay away from people who are bullying you. Once you are in a stable state later on in life and are happy within yourself then think about kids/marriage.

"I cant let go I am so angry at the way I have been treated by everyone"

Of course you can't.....they have treated you like dirt and you want to stay and prove a point. Yea..........thats not the way to go. Listen to the advice of your friends when they tell you to forgive and let go or you will never be able to move on with yourself through all the bitterness and resentment to them and more so to yourself. Don't worry about them, think about you.

There is plenty of groups out there specialised in giving advice/help to the abused. Google some local help centres and attend one asap....or call your GP and they will be able to help you.