sister in law hate me...

**Rosenie** · 05-04-2011 06:54 AM

hi every one. please help me i don't know what to do.. i was married to my husband 3 years ago we have 1 lovely baby who is now 14 months .. im not american i was born to another country. my husband and i were talking thru internet for 1 1/2 year and visited me every 3 months we've been thru a lot of pain and happiness on our 1 1/2 year of a relationship.. so our relationship is quite good and painful thru that time.. because saying goodbye every 3 months are painful thinking another 3 months to wait before i see him.. when i got my visa approved to live here in the us. im happy but at the same time sad because i need to leave everything behind, my parents, friends, my family everything about my country i need to leave it for my husband but i said its ok i have my husband's family and we are together now so im happy with that..When i got here i met my SIL which she was good at first. she gave me stuff and treat me good and we talk. but once i didnt reply on her messages she get mad and say bad things about me. like:

1. i only come here because of my husband money which is he don't have (he still lives on his parents. we cant afford to buy another car, still paying for bank depth) so i don't know what money she's talking about..

2. im lazy and don't want to work (my husband told me just to take care of our baby because day care is expensive because if i work (i don't have good education) im only work to pay the day care or nanny so no sense of working at all..so i agree with him.

3. im a gold digger and i want her parents money,

4. she call me that im stupid coz i cant speak straight english.

5. that im poor because we cant afford education.

6. she also said next time i go back to my country to visit my family im just going to find some richer guy,

7. she said i only want to be american citizen and after 3 years im going leave my husband,

8. she wishes me to die and next time i go back to my country she wish my plane to crash.

9. she also said my parents teach me to ask money to other not to work for my own.. (my family have a good business so i helped them to manage it than to work to other company) so am i wrong to do that? well any way..

i told her my side that everything she said is wrong.. that she is wrong about me.. and at the end i realize why she makes me a friend at first because whatever i told her before the first time we met is just to find something to say against me. my husband and i blocked her on our cellphone because for 1 1/2 year im here at the us she did nothing but text me and my husband same bad stuff about me, and my husband get tired of it and we are paying 10 dollars a month to blocked her.. what should i do? i mean still bother me.. im never have a situation like this before.. i never fight before.. so i don't know how to handle. her words are very hurtful to me. i love my husband so much.. and i apologize before to make things better we only good for 3 days and one time i didnt receive her message she told me im a liar and start saying again.. after that i didnt talk to her ever again which is 4 months now.. but she's is calling to my husbands office and my husband always refuse to answer..please help.. thanks in advance..

**KMonte85** · 05-04-2011 07:19 AM

I am very sorry that you are having to deal with this! In complete honesty, your sister in law sounds like she may be mentally disturbed from your description of her very aggressive and unreasonable behaviors.

I'm glad to hear that your husband is siding with you on this and you are working together to stop her tirades, or at least blocking them. If I may ask, what does the rest of your husband's family think of how she is acting? Can your brother and perhaps some of his family talk to her to make her stop harrassing you two? She has to know that if you both are blocking her number and refusing to take her calls, that she isn't getting anywhere. Perhaps she needs to be told flat out by the people that mean the most to her that her behavior is totally unacceptable and she is isolating herself from her family if she choses to continue to act so terribly towards you and your husband.

**Rosenie** · 05-04-2011 11:29 AM

hi thank you so much for your comment.. thats the only thing i can thank about that my husband 100% on my side.. my husband family is really small and honestly they don't really care about each other sounds like do your own thing and ill do mine thats how my parents in law does... however my father in law doesn't know about whats going on. but he always tell to my SIL to mind her own business but obviously she doesn't listen. and although my mother in law know how hard her daughter she always tell her to stop being mean to me. but she doesn't listen either because she control her husband and her mom. she can control everyone she know.. and my husband said her sister want to control me because im 10 years younger to her... and she tell me to this and to that which i don't allow because this is my life and i have my own family. she apologize one time but like same issue that i don't immediately reply to her message she get so mad and start saying bad stuff over and over which i get tired of hearing all the time... getting worse every time..i just decided to stop communicating to her.. to bad on my side because i don't have family here or even friends. i want my baby to be able to play with her cousin but how is it going to happen if we cant fix our relationship to her aunt.. thanks again KMonte85..

**Rosenie** · 05-04-2011 11:29 AM

hi thank you so much for your comment.. thats the only thing i can thank about that my husband 100% on my side.. my husband family is really small and honestly they don't really care about each other sounds like do your own thing and ill do mine thats how my parents in law does... however my father in law doesn't know about whats going on. but he always tell to my SIL to mind her own business but obviously she doesn't listen. and although my mother in law know how hard her daughter she always tell her to stop being mean to me. but she doesn't listen either because she control her husband and her mom. she can control everyone she know.. and my husband said her sister want to control me because im 10 years younger to her... and she tell me to this and to that which i don't allow because this is my life and i have my own family. she apologize one time but like same issue that i don't immediately reply to her message she get so mad and start saying bad stuff over and over which i get tired of hearing all the time... getting worse every time..i just decided to stop communicating to her.. to bad on my side because i don't have family here or even friends. i want my baby to be able to play with her cousin but how is it going to happen if we cant fix our relationship to her aunt.. thanks again KMonte85..

**KMonte85** · 05-04-2011 01:02 PM

she sounds sort of spoiled.

She's been allowed to act in such a terrible way, and even been rewarded for it by those around her conceding. Unfortunately, I have to agree with you that your best option is to keep ignoring her. If she gets more aggressive (like her calling your husband at work), I would be inclined to tell her that any further harrassing phone calls and messages will be reported to the police. Maybe that will stop her from calling, but it won't stop her from thinking those bad thoughts about you. It is up to her to stop that, and there is nothing you can do to change her mind.

It is too bad that you aren't able to be friends, but she has made it impossible. I understand how you'd like for your child to have a relationship with her cousin. But your SIL demanding that you be at her beck and call every second and becoming so angry with you when you aren't available is crazy, and she may not be a person you would want your baby around anyway.

Perhaps you can get out of the house and meet new people. Take your baby for a walk to the park in a stroller and chit chat with other mom's there. Or you could join a parents club or another club that involves something you are interested in. You can make friends without having to rely on your husband's family. As much as you may want to have that relationship, you are probably better off finding lovely and STABLE people to keep you company!

**trica60** · 05-04-2011 04:48 PM

I am so sorry you are being made feel so badly.Very glad your husband is standing by you.Sounds as if your sister-in-law has a lot of issues and most likely if she wasn't taking it out on you she would find someone else to lash out at.I know it would be hard to do but try to ignore it as much as you can.Someone that behaves in the way you describe has emotional problems.So please don't blame yourself and respond as little as possible to her.Usually a person like that will stop at some point if they no longer get a reaction from their target. After all keeping up turmoil is the goal and if it ceases to work then they usually move on.I hope so for your sake and your husbands sake.Sending you good thoughts that it will work out for you soon.

**Schroeder** · 05-04-2011 08:24 PM

What are you asking?

Your SIL is a freak.

You and your husband are fine.

**jns** · 05-04-2011 10:15 PM

By staying home and taking care of your child, you are giving your baby the best start in life possible. It makes no sense o have others raise your child in your situation. The economics work also. Your husband is doing the right thing in taking your side.

**Rosenie** · 05-05-2011 12:07 PM

thanks every one for the comments.... really appreciate each words of your advice.. god bless to all of you..

**emeraldwings** · 05-07-2011 02:13 AM

your SIL is just too much.

I'm sorry to say this cause this may sound harsh, but if it goes too much, maybe you guys can file a restraining order on her?
Cause what she does may cause more problems not just you, but to your child as well later in the future.

But just because she's older doesn't mean she can get whatever she wants.
I agree with your FIL, she needs to mind her own business.
I would just ignore her, but if she still goes on and on, just tell her to shut up and mind her own business cause she doesn't know you and she can't treat you like that. You can't please everyone. Just put your foot down and know when enough is enough.
If she hates you, she hates you.
Try talking to your husband about telling her off, maybe it will work.
If she gets worse, file a restraining order on her.