Is this tacky? I need some opinions.
*I also posted this in The Lounge only because I wasn't sure where to post this.*
Since my husband and I got married at city hall and never had an "official wedding" my in laws want to put togehter a 5 year anniversary dinner next year for us. Will it be tacky to register? When his grandmother said that the first thought that came to my mind was, I don't want people to think thats why we are doing this. I want it because yeah we didn't have a wedding and would like to have both families together. What do you think?
"Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
— Marilyn Monroe
In the future, please post in only one place. If there is a problem, a moderator can move the thread.
I think this decision should be weighed by the reactions of your family. If your parents or in-laws gave you gifts at the time of your civil marriage, it may put a bad taste in their mouth for you to ask now. They may view this party as a "gift."
I personally don't think it could hurt to register somewhere. After all, you never had the chance to celebrate your marriage in this way.
made one wish for a permanent kiss that would echo through these bones like arsenic
Women are female (adj,) but not females (n.) We aren't dogs.
Register|Contact Admin|Email Admin
In my opinion yes it is. You have been married for 5 yrs and have most likely aquired all the things you NEED. Getting everyone together to celebrate your marriage is a good thing. Getting everyone together and asking them to bring gifts makes it appear you are fishing for gifts.
Dead animals don't equal fashion it equals cruelty
I agree with Little, talk to them and establish their plans, and what they percieve it to be as it is a gift from them....
You can always add in that you wish to re-say your vows, in a wedding dress, in front of the whole family and make it more like the wedding you never had, however, naturally, you are married so you don't need to pay for someone to do that and you don't have to spend a fortune on a dress either..And, then pose the questions from there.
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Inappropriate...at any level...IMO.
You had your chance, opted to do something else at that time.
Besides, do you really want a bunch of toasters, bamboo steamers and ginsu knives?
A celebration of your marriage is a kind thought and gesture by your in-laws.
This is their party thrown in your honor. So be honored by it.
I agree wholeheartedly with Sally's and Seeker's advice.
Having a registry will put emphasis on receiving gifts rather than focusing on the sentimentality of the celebration. Your husband's grandmother is correct.
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think it would be a little tacky.
~Today, any person can fight the battles of one day It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's- yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore, live but one day at a time.~
That would just make you seem greedy IMO
~Today, any person can fight the battles of one day It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's- yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore, live but one day at a time.~
Thanks, you all seem to think the same way I felt at the moment she said "you guys can even register" I don't want people to think we are doing it just to get stuff, I won't be wearing a wedding dress. We are doing pretty good for ourselves and don't need help. I wouldn't know what to register for because at this point, getting to our 5 years we have just about everything even if it's hand me down furniture etc etc, I'm happy with everything we have. Thanks to craigslist we were able to get a kitchen table and a coffee table and other things we've needed. I don't know if people register for those things. haha but I'm all for the anniversary dinner celebration but I will not feel right to register. We made the decision to have a civil wedding only. We weren't doing it for anybody but ourselves. We didn't get in gifts for our civil marriage because I guess we kinda on eloped. We were only 20 at the time and I think our families weren't sure we were going to last. And I think they felt well since they didnt have a wedding they don't want gifts, even my other brother said we should have had a wedding so we could register. Now that we have been married for a few years I think they are starting to feel bad, which they should not but I mean I don't have to register to get gifts lol if they want to get us something it would be nice. Thanks everybody, I just know my husband's grandmother will push for us to register. I just hope she understands!
"Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
— Marilyn Monroe
Since Grandma might be Pushy, tell her you are registered with the SPCA or Childrens Diabetic Fund or St. Judes Hospital or Pick a worthy Charity you and Hubby agree on.Thanks everybody, I just know my husband's grandmother will push for us to register. I just hope she understands!
People will most likely bring a Gift, it is an Anniversary Party after all.
And Anniversary Gifts are different than Wedding Gifts ( in General ).
When I attend an Anniversary Party, I usually get the couple a Card and maybe a nice Bottle of Wine or a House plant or even a Gift Card to a Nice Restaurant. I would feel uncomfortable buying them Towels or a Blender or Pots and Pan sets.
And as mentioned about Donations,one time a Couple we know put on the Invites " If you wish to buy us a Gift, A Donation to save a Pets Life is what we want " Then had the name and number and Address to their local SPCA.
Posting Permissions
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks