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Thread: Hubby saw sis naked

  1. 07-24-2011 10:38 PM #31
    Texinator
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaya View Post
    I just likened my state of disgrace and dishonor to murahachibu and called it that.
    ...and how exactly did you dishonor yourself through the rape? Some people think that rape victims were "asking for it" somehow, maybe by acting or dressing provocatively. Do you think that about yourself?
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  2. 07-25-2011 12:29 AM #32
    chaya
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    The feeling of disgrace was so great when I had to face my family and friends that there was no doubt in my mind the disgrace was real. It was so bad that it made me leave the home that I loved and all my family and friends to go to a strange place to live with an aunt that I hadn't seen in years.

    After they removed one ovary, one f-tube and 8 inches of small intestine, I would never be a whole woman again. At the time I hated the doctor that worked for hours to save my life and only wished he had left me to die. If I had died there would be no dishonor and no disgrace.

    I did not provoke my attacker in any way that I know of. I was just walking down the street dressed in loose fitting jeans and loose fitting tee shirt. I had been to the beach most of the day and probably smelled bad.

    Zen is more of an attitude than a belief.
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  3. 07-25-2011 01:54 AM #33
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    Chaya, this would have been horrific for you, at 17 years of age as well at an age where you feel safe, a child becoming a teenager, simply going to the beach, day out.

    Why sweet, do you feel it was a dishonor, when your Father lives in Hawaii, you never testified so your name wasn't released and your family live in Japan, surely, your family in Hawaii had no need to speak at all.

    Why did you feel you had to move if you don't mind me asking....
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

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  4. 07-25-2011 02:04 AM #34
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    Chaya, I'm trying to remember? Did you say this happened on your 17th birthday as well? Birthdays are special to me anyway I hope that wasn't the case.
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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  5. 07-25-2011 06:29 AM #35
    Texinator
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaya View Post
    The feeling of disgrace was so great when I had to face my family and friends that there was no doubt in my mind the disgrace was real. It was so bad that it made me leave the home that I loved and all my family and friends to go to a strange place to live with an aunt that I hadn't seen in years.

    After they removed one ovary, one f-tube and 8 inches of small intestine, I would never be a whole woman again. At the time I hated the doctor that worked for hours to save my life and only wished he had left me to die. If I had died there would be no dishonor and no disgrace.
    The reason I ask is because, to me, saying you were disgraced and dishonored and had a hard time facing friends and families implies that you did something wrong. However, being raped is something that is done to you, not something you do yourself, so the only one that was disgraced and dishonored I think was the rapist.
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  6. 07-25-2011 01:46 PM #36
    chaya
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texinator View Post
    The reason I ask is because, to me, saying you were disgraced and dishonored and had a hard time facing friends and families implies that you did something wrong. However, being raped is something that is done to you, not something you do yourself, so the only one that was disgraced and dishonored I think was the rapist.
    I don't know how to make you understand, it wasn't that I dishonored myself but that I WAS disgraced and dishonored. It (the feeling of disgrace) was a weakness in me. I was burdened by a past event and couldn't put it behind me and live in the present as I should.

    Zen is more of an attitude than a belief.
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  7. 07-25-2011 02:15 PM #37
    chaya
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    Chaya, I'm trying to remember? Did you say this happened on your 17th birthday as well? Birthdays are special to me anyway I hope that wasn't the case.
    It was 2 days after my 17th birthday.

    Zen is more of an attitude than a belief.
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  8. 07-25-2011 10:28 PM #38
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    chaya, there is no disgrace on you for being raped. The animal that did it has every reason to be punished severely. Parts of society try to make out that the women are at fault. They are not and you are not. Let me say it again, you are not at fault for the rape.
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  9. 07-26-2011 09:23 AM #39
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    It's normal to feel the way you do about that awful attack, chaya. Many women feel the same way, even though they aren't at fault either.
    Have you considered therapy? I hope you would have received some when it happened, but it sounds like you could benefit from a little more. I bet your college has free counseling available. You wouldn't have to tell anybody about you going, if you feel self-conscious about getting help.
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  10. 07-26-2011 09:48 AM #40
    chaya
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little View Post
    It's normal to feel the way you do about that awful attack, chaya. Many women feel the same way, even though they aren't at fault either.
    Have you considered therapy? I hope you would have received some when it happened, but it sounds like you could benefit from a little more. I bet your college has free counseling available. You wouldn't have to tell anybody about you going, if you feel self-conscious about getting help.
    I had completely put the whole event behind me, even to the point that I have forgiven the attacker. I must admit that talking about it and posting about has brought back some of the old memories and I am having trouble sleeping. I need to stop talking about it and get myself back on the right path. It is a religious thing with me, no therapy can help me, only meditation will help.

    Zen is more of an attitude than a belief.
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