My Father Jumped on me and my mom...

**collegegirl2010** · 07-20-2011 11:24 PM

The other night(July 19, 2011) my father jumped on me and hit me with a leather belt, because we were having a disagreement. He was talking to my sister about driving and negatively using me as an example. Then I said something, and because he knew I was right he told he to be quiet. And I said something about people not wanting to hear what I have to say but wanting me to listen to them(which I know is true). Then he went and got his belt and hit me. And my mom came out of her room and got inbetween us to stop him from hitting me. and he hit her too. I think it made him even more angry when I tried to fight back and I kept talking. My mom told me to just go in my room and ignore him, and he followed me. Then he rapped me across my back again. And my mom got between us again so he started hitting her. And when it was over he went outside into our storage house.

I'm just so angry at him because when my mom tried to stop him he goes,"that's my child." It really upsets me because he doesn't really respect women and talk about what women do all the time, like before he got his belt he was sitting down talking, "Most of the time when a women say something, she don't mean it but when a man tell you something he mean what he say." That statement to me was very stereotypical and stupid.It really makes me mad how he got upset because I was disagreeing with him. I'm just so tired of people trying to run over me. For years, all through my childhood, he has told me(several times) "you act like you retarded." "you act like you handicap or something." or "what's wrong with you?" or "you talk like a fool." Why do I have to continue to deal with the emotional and verbal abuse, and physical too. I have been mostly emotionally and verbally abused. But I wanted so bad to call the police but my mom really can't make it by herself financial. What do I do?

**Texinator** · 07-20-2011 11:34 PM

There is only one thing to do, and that is to press charges against him for assaulting you and for assaulting your mother. Don't worry about the finances; you'll find a way to make ends meet, even if other family and even friends have to help, but your safety is much more important.

**jns** · 07-20-2011 11:55 PM

How long is it before you are out of college? If I remember correctly, you started last Fall. Are you going for a Bachelor's Degree? Is your father supporting you through college? Become independent as soon as possible. I like what Texinator said, but I also know bringing charges against family members can be hard for many different reasons.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-21-2011 03:16 AM

Do you not think that your Mother has had enough? Twice she jumped in, knowingly that she would be hurt herself, for you, for her child..

I am not trying to do anything here but try to make you think of something. Your Mother, more than likely behind closed doors also is emotionally, verbally and physically abused, he is a taker and a controller and he has not said "our child" but "my child" he controls her...

She will never, ever, let you know what goes on behind closed doors....But the fact she protects you? Tell me at least in my opinion, he takes what he wants from her and she won't allow him to do it to "her child" that means that she fears him and yet, will stand up for her child and it means she feels stuck financially as you seem to know that and that is the reason she stays, for her children............

Money is nothing. We find a way.

Peace and Freedom is "everything" to be herself finally and love her children finally and find a way to make ends meat and one day meet someone to love that loves her back and you too..amazing.

Time to do something about this united..

**Beautiful Disaster** · 07-21-2011 06:23 AM

You are an adult. You were physically assaulted. It does not matter who did it, whether it is a family member, a boyfriend, a stranger. Assault is assault. You need to make the adult decision to get out. Being in college doesn't mean you have to live at home. There's really no need to. Your parents shouldn't be your sole financial support at this point in your life. It's time to get out.

Your mother is also an adult. And she too is making a choice. Finances are no excuse to tolerate abuse. Love is no excuse to tolerate abuse. You cannot stay in an unhealthy situation just because your mother won't get out. That is her choice.

Anytime you see another person assaulting someone, or assaulting you, do not hesitate to call the police. The attacker NEEDS repercussions for their behavior.

It is NOT his right to hit you. It is NOT right to be attacked because you voiced your opinion after he was verbally degrading females.

What is your plan to get out of the house?

**Texinator** · 07-21-2011 06:37 AM

The more he can get away with it, the more it will encourage him to escalate the abuse. Put a stop to it. At the very least, get out of the house, but I really do think it would be best to get the police involved and start having all this officially documented.

**collegegirl2010** · 07-21-2011 08:29 AM

I'm at a community college now, but I have two years left because I haven't taken the courses for my major yet, I plan to do it next semester. And after I leave there, I plan to go to southern Miss. which is like 2 or 3 hours from home, so I'll be staying on campus. And no he really isn't supporting me at all, my mom is supporting me through everything. But he's convincing his self he's doing everything for me, he always has. Even when I was 13 he acted that way. My mother has always supported us alone. Only thing he does is put a roof over my head, which he wouldn't do if he didn't have to live here himself. My mom bought all the furniture in my room off her income(which she told me I can have when I move out), she bought most of my clothes, he has only bought a very small amount of my clothes. And most of the rest of my clothes, I bought when I had a summer job and when I got my pell grant. I think most of the abuse comes from the way his father did him and his siblings.

**collegegirl2010** · 07-21-2011 08:36 AM

Yea I know, it's no secret to me. I've seen him abuse her many times as a child and it hurts to see your mother thrown around and treated like she isn't important. I think it's his views on women altogether that makes him feel men are more important. And yea, I agree in this situation money shouldn't matter but I'm just worried about my schooling. But I don't want to see her hurt, and she really is my hero for standing up for me. she has always talked to us about how she wanted someone that will do the things for her he doesn't financially and emotionally. To be honest, she does more for us than he has ever done so staying with him really isn't helping financially either.

**collegegirl2010** · 07-21-2011 08:44 AM

But financial I have to depend on them right now because I don't want bad credit before I'm 21. I'm trying to stay away from loans, because if I stay on campus I'll need loans. And to me loans are stupid at a community college where they basically help you. there really isn't any other place to go.

And honestly, my mother is the only I get support from. My father really doesn't do anything but put a roof over my head, that's it. And I'm really scared to just leave and my mom is still here, because I really don't want to hear about her on the news. And if I can't find another way I'd have to wait atleast two years until I move to another college which is 2 or 3 hours from home. I'm just really scared and confused, and concerned.

**collegegirl2010** · 07-21-2011 08:46 AM

he's has been arrested before for jumping on my mom, but he only stayed in there 1 night...And him going to jail doesn't seem to phase him, he's "a man" so he thinks. He will never see where he's wrong at, just like his father.