Thread: Bad Mother Daughter Relationship

It is Impressive you want to better your relationship with your Mother, whilst many Teens just want to get away and on their own.

Your Mother " Freaked " because, In My Opinion ( also ) 15 is too young to Date. Though not too young to be trusted to go out with Friends in a Group, if it includes the opposite sex.

At 16, if a trust is built by your following rules of going out, being home on time,discussing honestly what you did and how you felt and stuff like that. Then If I were your Mom, I would allow, short casual "Day Dates " with a Guy, but only after I had met him, talked to or met his parent (s).

Once a Trust is built with him, that I feel he genuinely cares about you, respects you and rules of behavior, then I may allow Movie or Dinner ( alone ) Dates , With again, that being based on you both following the Rules.

At 17 you should have by then, both of you earned my Trust that you will behave as young Adults and not have you coming to me 3 months pregnant and having him dump you or you dump him.

So you do have an Idea now, how mothers think or at least me as a Mother of 4 Adults Children

Here are some Options to try with your Mom.

1) Tell your Mom you want to talk Woman to Woman. Or just say " Girl Talk " because sometimes the Mother in us Resists our Baby growing up.

Tell her you are interested in a Guy, use his name, tell her a little about him.
Don't say things like " He's Sooo Cute ", Instead, talk about his attributes, He is in ( Blank ) Grade of, or he Works at (Blank).
We met at ( blank) and started talking about ( Blank). He seems very nice and mature and seems to want to get to know me better and I'd like to get to know him better and have you get to know him also. Could we invite him over for Dinner/ BBQ ?

Next Question ... This is Important !!!

Mom, I need some advise on what you feel is important when I Date while still at home. Can we talk about Rules, ( time home ) my Grades and such.

* Still at home, sends us a Signal that when 18, you can leave legally and we have nothing to say about how and when you chose a Guy .
And most Mothers will realize this and know that we haven't much time to help you with decisions that can and will effect the rest of your life. So we will tend to go on the basic's of TRUST and Teaching.

If Mom, does not seem to be willing to accept that you are now Ready to enter the Dating world. Ask her when she first Dated ? How Old, What she felt, was it a good experience or bad.
Ask her for Advise, Listen , take in and Sympathize if her first " Love " and her are not together now.

The Point here is to let her know you value her Experiences , that her lessons learned the " Hard Way " are ones you will avoid if possible.

2) If there is No way that you feel you can come to an Agreement on your Dating with her " Permission " at age 17. ( not sure when you'll be 18 ) you can do what you are doing now, which is Hiding and being Deceitful and showing your mother that You do Not Trust her opinion or Experience or Loss of her Daughter ( her mind ), Loss of your Mother ( your Mind ).


Or Simply, bide your time until you are 18 .. Then Date whomever you want and when you Want. If this Guy likes you now, he'll like you later when you are allowed by YOURSELF to be Responsible for YOURSELF .



3) With Trust and Respect, you and Mom and Hopefully this Guy you like can come to an agreement , so you can Date and learn about Relationships. Remember Your Mom had a Relationship and you are here because of that Relationship.