Thread: Stepmother issues.

Hey everyone! New to the forums. I'm looking for some advice and I'm not sure what to call this:

I'm a young woman in my 20's going to college. I was recently laid off from my job and am now back home with my parents. For the past 8 years, my father has been remarried to another woman. They have been together for 10 years, after the death of my mother when I was a young teen. I've always tried to get along with my stepmom. I figured that that was the easiest way to handle everything that had happened to all of us. We had some up's and downs that I chose to ignore (name calling by my stepmother), hoping it would blow over. My brothers did not get along with my stepmother. She also disliked them, telling them they were lazy, arguing with them on a regular basis if she didn't get her way, even over small things, like making their beds "incorrectly". She would fly off the handle often, she used the house againist us in arguments (a "you're lucky you live here", "I saved you from your shitty house" statements) My younger brother began to withdraw completely, not fighting back with her. She would respond with " F--K off" and " F--K you" often.

She gave my brother the silent treatment when he forgot to greet her after he got home from work once for example. This lasted three weeks. Eventually, my younger brother moved in with his girlfriend. My twin brother got a raise at his job and left home as well.

Since then, my stepmother gradually began turning on me. It started off small. Using one cheerful tone in her voice with her daughter and my father, then using a different tone with me. Trying to undermine me through my brother, telling him things I would tell her in confidence, and telling him she "didn't want me to move out because I was unrealistic." (I should add here that I have cerbeal palsy, and she wanted me to stay home. She began getting angry when I made goals to save some money, move out and get room mates)

Eventually, she gave me the silent treatment, not speaking to me at all for almost a month. This was after several attempts to talk to her. Eventually, I began just walking in the house and retreating to my bedroom. Not in anger, just feeling invisaible. I eventually had a breakdown to my father over it, telling him I couldn't take it anymore. I went to Hawaii for 4 months, voluenteering, traveling and having a life changing experence. I have just returned home. I thought she changed. Tonight, I was in the middle of trying to send out resumes. I was completing a cover letter when she told me to make dinner. (She had been inturrupting me throughout the day while I was trying to work, trying to show me things on television.) I told her that I needed to finish this application, since it's due on the 3rd, and that I would start dinner when I was done. I didn't raise my voice. I wasn't angry. So I was shocked when she began screaming at me, the loudest I've ever heard her scream. She starting shouting over and over: "DON'T BOTHER. DON'T. BOTHER." I got up, told her I was sorry, and began taking out pots and pans. "Don't. BOTHERRRRRR!!!!! F--K YOU."

My heart was pounding, I was in too much shock to say anything other then "sorry." Then hurrily adding: "I'll make dinner." She then said: "Okay, forget it," in a completely different tone, and left. I stood there shaking. She caught me crying, goes: "Well, I didn't mean to SCARE you." She didn't say sorry. She never does.

I don't know what this is. Is there something wrong with her? Is it me? She never speaks to her own daughter or my dad this way. I don't know what our relationship is anymore, or if we even have one. I know I need to move out, but I don't know where to begin. Everything scares me. I feel worthless. I feel like there's nothing for me in this house. I know I want to maintain a relationship with my father, but I'm afarid that once I'm gone, she'll cut me off from him.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm unwelcome. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.